Happy New Year! 2017

“Om!  Ommm!” the class chanted.

I sat in yoga class, meditating, as we looked inward.  This was a special yoga class, from 10 p.m. to midnight on New Year’s Eve, at Pura Vida in downtown San Diego.

The teacher led us through an exercise where we paired with another person and completed the sentence, “I am…”

My answers were:

  • Intelligent
  • Confident
  • Sexy
  • Mother of two
  • Mechanical engineer
  • Texan
  • Sister
  • Daughter
  • Loyal friend
  • Mentee
  • Mentor
  • Sex goddess

Ok, so maybe that last one is just wishful thinking.

“Now, we’re going to pull out another piece of paper, and write down all our negative thoughts.  All the bad stuff that happened to you, all the things that are weighing you down—I’m just going to say it.  Get that shit out!”

I am happy to say that my list was pretty short.  Some people were scribbling furiously and a few even turned their papers over to write on the back.  Later, we tore up the paper, and the teacher collected the pieces to burn later.  It was freeing, that act of ripping up all the things that I wished had never happened.

2016 was certainly an interesting year for me, complete with a move from Texas to California.  The new job is treating me well; I’m learning new software and making new work friends.  The job is with a big company, which I find refreshing after working at a small company for over a year.  While knowing everyone at the company was cool, just one difficult coworker made my work much less fun.  At a larger company, one difficult person is much easier to ignore or avoid.  Also, this large company has more narrowly defined roles, so I can concentrate on my core job.  Learning how to perform extra tasks was interesting, but I’d rather leave challenging technical work like detailed structural and thermal analyses to the experts.  I like doing preliminary analyses, but people spend years becoming experts, and I can’t be an expert in everything.

Outside of work, I re-joined Match.com.  I’ve discovered that I’m anxious about guys finding my blog.  What will they think of me?  Will they think I’m a desperate loser who can’t keep a guy?  Or will they think the insight into my psyche is priceless, like Zach did?  Will they think that anything I wrote about them is charming and cute, or get angry that I wrote anything at all?

Another dimension to this is my career: I’ve shared the website with some of my closest coworkers, then I’ve tempered my posts, knowing they might read it.  This is silly, I know; I should either not share the website with people I know, or write with confidence.

At any rate, all of this anxiety is taking some of the fun out of blogging, so it’s time to shut down this website.  It’s been fun, it’s been therapeutic, and it’s been good writing practice.

Another dimension to this is, I’ve come to a point where I want to write to further my career.  I’m writing a textbook based on the lessons I’ve learned about a niche topic, which doesn’t seem to have enough in print about it.  I want to put my energy into that, instead of into dating guys who won’t remember me in a week and guys who I’ll hope to soon forget.

I still have books two and three outlined of Jules Rules – Dating Adventures; I may yet publish them.  But not this year.

Happy New Year!  Good luck in all that you do!

Cheers!  Ommmmm!

Jules

PS A guy from Match sent me a dick pic last night, which also helps to cement my decision to date less.  It’s only the 2nd one that I’ve ever received; the other was sent during October, wearing a pair of devil horns with the caption, “Happy Halloweenie!”

Guys, even if it has a cute costume, I do NOT want a picture of you cock.  And I would bet good money that none of the other women do, either.  Keep it in your pants!

Jules Rules

  1. Do what you love, and love what you do.
  2. Live confidently. If you make a mistake, own it.  Mistakes are lessons to be learned.  Learn them, and move forward.
  3. Your dreams should be so big, that they scare you. “Reach for the moon; if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.”
  4. If you have a choice of laughing or crying, laugh. There’s a time to cry; but laughing is usually more fun.
  5. Take chances. See above; they haven’t always paid off for me, but hey!  I’m doing great!
  6. Don’t send dick pics. Just, don’t.  The recipient either knows what it looks like or doesn’t want to know; either way, keep it to yourself.  ‘Kay?  Thanks.
  7. If you get invited to do yoga on New Years, or at any time at Pura Vida, go!  You may need it more than you think.

 

NY Resolutions by NN and Jules

 

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Allie Apple & Jules Strawberry, Dec 31, 2015

The fishnets were thrown on the floor without care

In hopes that a maid might magically appear

My party heels were tucked in the closet with care

So I wouldn’t trip over them in the night, and bust my rear.

With a glass in my left hand, and a bottle of Jameson in my right,

I settled down in my bubble bath to end the night.

And that was my Christmas, and pretty much my New Year’s Eve, too.  No family drama, no pesky boyfriend wanting to watch sports, no kids screaming because they were cranky from staying up too late.  I thought about texting one of my guys for a booty call, then decide that it could wait ‘til tomorrow.

Sigh, I love my life.

Jules freaked out when she read last year’s resolutions and realized that she had only completed one of them.  So what?  There’s always next year.  Or, here’s a thought, don’t make any resolutions!!  Then you won’t fail!  I’m already gorgeous, successful, and well-loved.  You can’t improve upon perfection.

And Jules—well, close enough.  Not everyone can be me ; – )

Seriously, though, I’ve commented on Jules’ 2015 resolutions.  Pay attention, ladies, this is for all of you bitches!

  1. Date only the best guys. No more going out with whomever asks; no sir-ee.  Even if it would be a good story.  Even if, like Aladdin, he might be a “diamond in the rough.”  Nope, gotta stick to The List.  Unless he looks like David Tennant or Christopher Reeves in his Superman days; then all bets are off.  Nadia approves this one resolution.  Only, it shouldn’t be a resolution – it should be LIFE.
  2. Lose that last 10 lbs. I know this was on last year’s list, too.  I did lose 7 lbs; just found them again.  In 2015, I’ll lose them, and there will not be a Search and Rescue Mission led by Wine and Nachos.  That means cutting back on the wine, and I’ll make that sacrifice.    Just, no.  Somethings aren’t worth sacrifice.  Just make peace with your current size—what are you, a 6?—throw out whatever is too tight, and LOVE yourself.  You’re gorgeous!  Own it!

Of course, my definition of “too tight” and your definition may be two different things.  We’ll talk.

Side Note: Jules was laid off in January, completed and defended her master thesis in September, and completed her last graduate class in December.  That’s enough to make anyone gain weight like a mo’ fo’.  She should be given a f’in medal for not putting on 100 lbs from stress eating.

  1. Cut back on wine. Ok, need to make this a measurable goal.  Wine only once a week.  Hmm, need to make a reasonable goal.  Wine only twice a week.  See #2. 
  2. Workout more. Again, goals need to be measurable.  Workout 6 times a week.  Note to self: buy Advil.  If by “workout,” you mean opening bottles of wine, ok.  But again, this is LIFE, not a resolution.
  3. Pay off those credit cards. To meet this goal, I need to stay out of the Dallas Galleria, even and ESPECIALLY when Steve Madden has sales.  (Don’t take it personally, Steve, you know I love you.  My black, buckled boots are my favorites; that’s why I bought them in black and   They were half price, after all.)  Unsubscribe from Victoria Secret’s mailing list.  (Vicky, I love your semi-annual sales, but my bra drawer is full.  Really, I can go a year without buying 6 new bras.  I think I can, I think I can…)  Avoid Ann Taylor.  (Ann, my closet is full.  I don’t need any new suits or cute dress pants or the best jeans ever.  Really, I don’t.  And don’t send me a coupon, either, because that just makes you look desperate.)  I’ll miss you, old friends!  Jules will be caught up by February.  Close enough – call this one done and drop it from the list.  Wait, I gotta resolution for you: go shopping for sluttier clothes.  You need to get laid, woman!
  4. Spend more time with friends. Just not the couples, so much, because they remind me that I’m alone.  Wait, that’s over half my friend base.  Ok, spend time with couples, but make sure to talk about how much I love my job and how school fills my free time.  Avoid set-ups at all costs (reminder to self: Billy Ray and both my ex-husbands were blind dates).  Hell ya, spend more time with me!  Bring your credit card, since it’s practically paid off.  Next round is on you. 
  5. Finish writing Book 2. Book 1 was completed in 2009; I’ve had 5 years to work on book 2.  In that time, I’ve gone through 2 major relationships (defined as a year or more each), 2 moves (local, but still significant), started 2 new jobs (one was a transfer within the same company, but a major life event nonetheless), and completed most of my master degree at 2 different universities.  Wait, no wonder I haven’t had time to write.  No excuses in 2015!  Don’t beat yourself up over this one.  You did, after all, complete #8.  Relax!
  6. Complete my master’s degree. I’m on track to finish it in December 2015; gotta make it happen!  Only 1 class/semester plus research and thesis, so should be pretty easy, as grad school goes.  I mean, how hard could 1 class be?  Um, except my last class included quantum physics, so maybe I shouldn’t say that.  Shit, I had better buy the book and start studying now.  You survived with a grade of B!  Party time!
  7. Hike more. It makes me happy to walk through forests and climb up hills.  I should do it more, so that I’m happier.  (With that kind of logic, celibacy should be off the table.)  Well, DUH!  Of course you should do what makes you happy.  And OF COURSE celibacy should be off the table!  We just need to find someone who is up to your standards. 

I think I’ll make Jules a Tinder profile and dare her to go out with the first guy who matches with her.  Instead of “engineer,” I’ll call her a “burlesque performer.”  It was true for one night, anyway.  Could make for some interesting dates if guys are picturing her naked while they swipe.

Heh heh, while they “swipe.”  Heh heh.

Before her date, I’ll take her to the spa—she never goes with me, citing #5—and get her a facial.  Melanie does wonders; she can make anyone’s face feel like a baby’s butt.  In a good, soft way—not the “needs a diaper to contain the fluids” kind of way.  And I’ll have Logan give her a massage.  His strong hands are just…yummy.

Jules is making noise about writing a romance novel.  I say, forget the writing!  Go out and LIVE IT!  Seriously, that woman hasn’t had a boyfriend in over a year.  She tells me this is some kind of record.  Eh, I say, not one to be proud of!  Time to end the dry spell!

Anyone else have a Resolution Recommendation for my girl?

Happy New Year!  I hope you all get laid, often and well!

Pass the whiskey!

–Naughty Nadia

From Jules

A new year, a new beginning.

I have started over many times in my 41 years: after a divorce as a single mom at age 19, 6 years later another divorce with twice the kids, another 5 years later after graduating with a bachelor’s degree and moving to Dallas (which felt as far away as England), and most recently when I was laid off in January 2015.  I guess that also extends to the start of my new job in March, which was one of the days of my life; I love my job, my boss, my coworkers.  I have truly been blessed that each beginning has been better than the last.

My advice to anyone else starting over:

Keep moving. Make long term and short term goals. Remind yourself every day of the big picture and your motivation. Celebrate the small successes, even if it’s just paying the rent. Take chances and make new friends. Above all, take care of yourself: bubble baths, reading time, a long walk – whatever recharges your batteries.

If your motivation is a better life for the kids, remember to spend time with them.  If recharging your batteries includes writing, start a blog.  And if you’re a hot guy who can’t get enough of my writing, by all means, send me an email.  We can start the new year together.

Good luck! I look forward to reading about your successes!  Happy New Year!

Cheers!

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