Lilly and Lucas: Wedding Reception

Jules & Lilly <3

Jules & Lilly ❤

Lilly and Lucas were married in March in Australia, in an intimate wedding ceremony.  Their American friends wanted to celebrate with them, so yesterday (October 17th), we did.  The seven month delay was so that the bride and groom could attend the party.  And this month, Lucas stepped onto American soil for the first time.  Here are a few pics that I took at the celebration.  I’ll have more for you after the photographer processes her photos.  Also, here are a few fun pics from the party at Dave & Buster’s later.

Lilly’s biggest complaint about her new husband was, “He kept taking babies away from me!  Seriously, there were seven babies at the reception.  I held three of them and he took each one out of my arms.”

Lilly & Lucas.  Notice who is holding the baby!

Lilly & Lucas. Notice who is holding the baby!

Her friends and I were thrilled that she brought her wedding dress with her.  We had asked her to, but she had never agreed, so we thought we might be disappointed.  Imagine our delight when we saw her all dressed up in her bridal attire!  Lucas looked dapper in his suit as well.  But there’s nothing like a beautiful bride!

Lilly is employed at a doctor’s office and loving it.  It’s busy and stressful and she has great coworkers.  Lucas is finishing up his last few semesters as a nursing student.  He’ll begin work in February.  Best of all, they’re moving into a rent house soon after they return home.  Life is good!

The pics tell the rest of the story.  They’re so in love!  If Lucas will stop taking babies away from Lilly, they could have a long and happy marriage.  ❤

Cheers!  To the newlyweds!

American women LOVE Aussies!

American women LOVE Aussies!

Lucas & Jules

Lucas & Jules

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Centerpieces - love 'em!

Centerpieces – love ’em!

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I wrote advice in their guest book.  LOL, I’m probably not the right person to ask for marriage advice!

Love you, Lilly & Lucas!  Hope to visit you soon!  ❤ ❤ ❤

Lilly and Lucas Landed Locally

Lilly was here in my kitchen! Eating my enchiladas! YAY!

Lilly was here in my kitchen! Eating my enchiladas! YAY!

Lilly and Lucas are HERE!  Well, not here exactly.  That is, they’re in the States.  In Texas!  In DALLAS!

I wanted to greet them when they got off the plane, but, well—Security at DFW (that’s Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, to you non-local types) is pretty tight.  I could have waited at the baggage claim, but they rented a car, so I would have seen there to say, “Hello!” and then “See you later!”

So instead, they rented their car at DFW and drove to my house.  I was in the kitchen, preparing genuine Texan enchiladas.

I hugged Lilly up!  It was so weird—like she’d only been gone a day.  Then I met Lucas in person for the first time.  But it didn’t feel like the first time; we’d Skyped and emailed so much that he was already an old friend.

I had a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips waiting for her.  She grabbed them and torn into them!

“OhmyGod I missed these soooo much!” she said.

Lucas ate a few, but she said, “You’ll spoil your dinner!”

I think that was just a ruse to get him to stop eating her chips.  When I said as much, she winked at me.

I’m sexy, AND I can cook!

I’m sexy, AND I can cook!

Lucas pretends to like the enchiladas, but…

Lucas pretends to like the enchiladas, but…

They were waaay too hot for him! 

They were waaay too hot for him!

His first impressions of the US include, “Discovered Sonic today. Mind blown. Love Walmart. Candy is epic! Your drivers are fucking maniacs, I would fit in well! Your Internet speeds are phenomenal as is your cable TV!  Your health care so far has been outstanding, and can’t get over the traffic, it’s insane! Your people have been so polite and nice so far!”

He also said that I’m just as beautiful in person.  Although I may be putting words in his mouth, that he agreed to out of reflex!  Hee hee

He continued, “Can’t get over how hot it is!!!  And I love the yellow school buses! They’re so awesome, just like the movies!!! Haahaha”

I answered, “Hot?!  It’s cool right now!  It’s below a 100!”  I checked the temperature.  At 8:30 p.m, it’s 79F.  Hmm, must have been in the 90s today.

“Pfft!” he answered, then added, “I love how Lilly’s accent changed back!  I love it!”

I laughed.  She had been mistaken for an Australian on the plane!

Speaking of Lilly, how does she feel being back in the States?

She told me, “It’s weird being back with my husband!  It’s like going back to my life but oh wait, I have a husband here with me now!  I’m loving seeing people and showing Lucas my life!!!  He gets so excited about yellow school buses lol.  They don’t have them in Australia.  I’ve missed some of the food!!  And my face wash!!!!”  It’s cute that they both mentioned buses.

I added, “And Sun Chips?”

“Omg yes and sun chips.  And Mexican food.”

I’m glad I cooked the right meal!

Post-Midterm Confidence!

Post-Midterm Confidence!

In other news, I took my Last Midterm Ever.  Mission accomplished!  I’m pretty sure that I aced it.  Which means that I at LEAST passed it.  Either way, only two months left of school, then it’s Graduation, Baby!

And if I’m lucky, a date with Professor Mercury!  WOOT!

I’ll see Lilly and Lucas again soon.  Their wedding reception is on Saturday, so I’m sure I’ll get one or two pics and another story.  Crazy things happen when Lilly and I get together.  ESPECIALLY when we’re drinking!

Did you like Naughty Nadia’s sexpliots?  If so, leave her a comment.  Maybe she’ll return more stories.  She’s told me some juicy ones from her high school days.  And then there’s the Spring Break trip to New Orleans!  And OMG, the summer that she spent with the swingers.

I love Lilly and Lucas!  ❤ ❤ ❤  So glad they’re here!!!!

Cheers!

Happily Ever After Part II: Lucas Update

Museum

Lucas is 26 now!!  Happy birthday, my Aussie friend!

Happy 26th Birthday!

Happy 26th Birthday!  

This post is the second part of an update on my friend Lilly Peach-Blueberry and her new husband Lucas Blueberry.  They married in March after she moved from Texas to Australia to be with him.

Deodorant Dream Saga

“I said good morning to Lilly, and she was all mad at me.  I hadn’t been awake for more than 3 minutes, so I knew that I hadn’t done anything.  It was literally all in her head.  Literally!  It was a dream!” Lucas said of the Deodorant Dream Saga.

I laughed.

Lilly insisted, “You wanted me to wear Cherry Vodka Scented Deodorant!  How dare you!”  Then she laughed, too.

Interview Time

I asked Lucas, “What are your favorite parts of being married?”

He answered, “Do I have to keep it G-rated?  Then my favorite bits can’t be in there.”  He smiled, kissed his love, then answered, “Seriously, though, I never had a girlfriend on my birthday before, and now I have a wife, which is even better.  I love seeing her in morning, kissing her, doing things with her.”  They kissed again.

Seriously, these two are too freakin’ cute!

I distracted him by saying, “Hey you two!  I’m here, too!  Break it up!  Lucas, Lilly said that you go on random adventures together.  What has been your favorite so far?”

“We saw a wallaroo.  We were—you know—location scouting before the party, up in the mountains.  We were looking for places to take good pictures.  And there he was!” Lucas said.

Location scouting.  Right.  On the way to a party.  I think we all know what newlyweds do on rural roads after sundown!  (Wink, wink, nudge-nudge, know what I mean?)

“What other g-rated adventures have you two been on?” I prompted.

“We went to the museum!” he said, as excited as a five-year-old.  “In the earthquake room at the Questacon Science Museum, we built a house out of blocks.  You know, you build a house, then the earthquake shakes it down.”  I assume that he meant there was a vibration table in the room, because I seriously doubt that the museum has daily earthquakes.  But I haven’t been there, so I don’t know for sure.

Lucas continued, “A 10-year-old stole her blocks.  She was so mad, she yelled the child.  That was seriously rude of the little kid.  Then we went to the tornado exhibit, where if you put your hand in the tornado, it will break.”  Here I assume that he meant one of the special fans that has smoke in the air stream, so that you can see the flow and get an idea for how tornadoes are made.  But then again, maybe someone has actually captured a tornado for the museum.  Stranger things have happened.

Lucas said, “The 10-year old kept breaking it.”

Lilly piped in, “So rude!  That little kid—urgh!”

Parents should keep an eye on their kids.  Just because the place is educational, doesn’t mean that the little ones should be allowed to run wild.

Lucas was on a roll now.  “You know that she’s afraid of heights, right?”

“Wait, the big bad Marine is afraid of heights?!  I thought Marines weren’t scared of anything!” I said, shocked.

They laughed.  “Oh, ya, big time!” Lilly said.

Lucas added, “There was this slide thing – she was terrified.  Here, watch the video!

“Oh my God, I kept my eyes closed the whole time!” Lilly said.  “Look!  I held onto the bar as long as possible!”

I laughed!

Tree

“We went to see our tree for our 2 month anniversary,” Lucas told me.

I smiled.  Lilly had told me this two or three times.  That was the tree where he had proposed on the day they had their pictures taken with the gorgeous view.  The clouds had broken the sun shown down on them when she said, “Yes!”

Lilly added, “It was soooo cold!  We froze our asses off!”

Then she looked at her darling, and they kissed.  Again.

“Lucas!” I said, trying to break them apart.  “Lilly tells me that you buy her a Kinder Surprise egg every time you go to the gas station.  Tell me why?”

Kinder Surprise eggs are chocolate eggs with plastic toys inside.  They aren’t sold in the US.  Lilly said that it’s because Americans are too stupid; they might try to eat the toy.  I think Americans are smarter than that; they’d eat the toy on purpose, so that they can sue the candy company.  At any rate, Lilly loves them, and she hasn’t choked on a toy yet.  As far as I know.

“Because I love seeing her smile, and they make her smile.  I love seeing her happy,” he said.

Nailed it.  Best. Answer. Ever.

Culture Shock

Lilly told me how different Australia is.  “We buy meat at the butcher’s store, which is in the shops.  The grocery store is a stand-alone store, in the mall.  It’s weird.”

“That is weird,” I said.  “Hey, we’re on Skype!  Show me the collect of toys that you’ve gotten from your Kinder Surprise eggs.  You must have a pile by now!”

“They’re all over the place,” she answered.  “I think there are some on the bench in the kitchen.”

I was shocked.  “Lilly, you just said BENCH!  Not kitchen counter!  You’re being assimilated!”

The utter look of shock on her face was real.  I couldn’t believe it!  Next, she’ll stop saying, “y’all”!!

After we overcame our moment of panic, she continued to tell me about her new home.

“There’s no central air or heat.  Electricity is too expensive.  We actually have a wood burning stove that we stack with wood when we go to bed at night.  Even then, it gets damn cold.  It got down to -9C!!”

Lucas said, “Hold on, I’ll translate that.”  He got on Google and came back with, “That’s 15.8 degrees F!!”

“Wow,” I said.  “It gets that cold, and you don’t have heat?!

“It’s a buggar in the morning, when it’s that cold and the fire has died” Lucas told me.  “I went to my car the other day, and the handle was iced shut.  I almost called into work and said, ‘Sorry, boss, my car is iced shut.  Can’t come to work today.’”

“I would have!  But then, here in Texas, I want to call into work for the opposite reason: the steering wheel is too hot to touch!” I answered.  “Seriously, when it’s over 100F in the shade, leaving the air conditioned house is just as hard as when it’s 15 degrees outside.”

“I miss that!” Lilly said, pouting.

“Well, you’ll be here in March, for your bachelorette party, right?” I said.  I felt a little pouty myself; I miss her terribly.  Wine over Skype is just not the same as in person.

“October!” Lilly and Lucas said in unison.  “We’ll be there in October!”

I did a little happy dance.  It’s a little early to start stockpiling the wine, but it’s only a few months away.  Lilly and Lucas are coming to Dallas!  YAY!

Until then, we’ll continue to keep in touch over Skype.  Congrats on almost-three months, my friends!  Here’s to many more!

Cheers!

Tomorrow night is my date with Keith.  Wish me luck!  

Mirror

Happily Ever After – Lilly Update

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Deodorant Dream Saga

Lilly went to the store and found the deodorant on sale for 3/$5, which is really cheap, but all of it was dessert scented: chocolate, cherry, banana split.  Lucas kept handing the cherry vodka flavor.

“No, not that one!  I can’t go around smelling like an alkie!  Help me pick out another one.”

He wouldn’t!  He just kept handing her different sticks of the same cherry vodka scent.

Irritated, she dug through the boxes, which were all jumbled in a magazine rack and hard.  She grew more and more upset that he wouldn’t help her.

She woke up pissed off.  She still brings it up 6 weeks later, and it was in her dream.  That’s right, it was just a dream!

“He wouldn’t help me!  He just kept handing me Cherry Vodka scent!” she said, pouting.  “I’m missing my favorite brands, and it’s freaking me out a little.  I guess that spilled over into my dreams.”  Telling me about it, she was almost in tears.  Who knew that moving to a foreign country (Australia, in this case) would make someone miss her favorite brand of deodorant?!

The anxiety didn’t stop there.  In another dream, Lucas got mad that she put on deodorant before bed.  Upon awakening, Lilly asked him, “Honey, would you care if I put on deodorant at bedtime?”

He answered, “I think it’s weird that you wear it all the time, but no, I don’t care.”

Of course not!  He might care if she had BO and didn’t wear deodorant, but wearing extra deodorant?  Not a problem!

And yet…the Deodorant Dream Saga lives on!

Wedding Plans

Lilly and Lucas were legally wed in March.  However, they’re still planning the Destination Wedding on June 14, 2016, in Hawaii for family and friends.  I’m going to be a bridesmaid!

I threatened to boycott when I found out that all of Lucas’s hot Aussie friends were in relationships, but Lilly calmed me down.  She promised to help me scout out cute surfers on the beach.  (Shhhhh!  Don’t tell Lucas!)

Wedding colors are turquoise and pale pink.   The bridesmaids (including me!) will wear turquoise, the flower girls will wear pink, and the bride will wear a turquoise and pink sash.  With the turquoise ocean and pink orchids, oh, I can’t wait!!!

Visa Drama

She can’t work.  The immigration officials said that she could come on a tourist visa, then get a work visa.  But after she arrived, they told her that she should have applied for the work visa before she moved.

Um, excuse me?!

A partnership visa is very expensive, but is the only visa for which she is qualified.  So she ordered the forms and sat down to fill them out.  The booklet was about half an inch thick (about 1 centimeter, for those down under).  She read halfway down page one, to where it said, “Flip to page 36 for more info.”  So she did.  A paragraph later, she was directed to flip to page 19.  Fine, she flipped to page 19.  Two paragraphs down, she read, “Flip to page 40 for more information.”  After two hours, she had read about 5 pages.  Or parts of 20 pages, really!

Finally she broke down and hired someone to fill out the paperwork for her.   For three thousand dollars!  I think I’ll go write a really confusing instruction manual, and have people pay me $3k to fill out a few forms.

Heck, give me $300.  I’ll figure it out!

Lilly is there on a three-month tourist visa, which will expire in June.  Then her bridge visa will keep her legal until the partnership visa is approved.  Until then, she can’t work.  She can’t drive, because she doesn’t have a car.  She may be going a little stir crazy, staying at home with the cats.  We accused her of being a crazy cat lady for years.  I thought that once she got married, we didn’t have to call her that any more.  I might have been a little hasty with that judgment.

Wallaroo

Black Kangaroo

Lilly and Lucas got excited one night when they saw a black kangaroo—so they thought.  It was as big as a small kangaroo, but those are usually tan.  They told their friends, who called BS.  That’s when they learned that it was a wallaroo!  “Wallaby’s are small and dark brown, while wallaroos are bigger and darker.  Lucas didn’t know this.  Apparently, Lucas doesn’t know anything about wildlife, like types of birds.”  She paused, then corrected herself, “Except for a couple, like the ga-la.  The Ga-la is a beautiful bird, and wild—they’re all over–but it’s an insult to be called one because they’re stupid.”

What a great way to insult someone, on the down low!  “You remind me of a beautiful Australian bird.  To me, you’re a ga-la.”  Ha!

gala

Random Adventures

“Lucas and I go on random adventures.  Like, for our two month anniversary, we visited Our Tree, where he proposed.  It was freezing, but romantic!”

Food

Lucas is banned from sharing her food.  She had been being nice and sharing.  But you know how you save the best bits for last?  How you eat the popcorn with just a little caramel on it, saving the wad of caramel corn to savor after all the boring popcorn is gone?  She was doing that while watching Grey’s Anatomy.  He reached reach over, when she was distracted with one of the really good parts of the show, and grabbed that wad of caramelly goodness out of her hand.  THEN HE ATE IT!  And the worst part was, she had no fork to stab him with!

I mean, come on!  Love is one thing, but to steal someone’s caramel corn out of their hand AFTER she ate all the dry boring popcorn?!  That’s an act of terroism!

Another time, they were sharing a cup of ice cream, strawberries, chocolate and waffles.  She scraped up chocolate with the waffle and was going for the strawberries, when Lucas grabbed her waffle and ATE IT!!!

Same with the last bite of cake with delicious icing.  To his credit, he got up and got another piece.  BUT it’s not the same.

There’s a pattern here, Lilly.  Better nip it in the bud, before it becomes a habit!  Taking someone’s Best Bite Saved for Last is serious business!

Love

“We’ve become one of those couples that I used to despise,” Lilly said with hearts in her eyes.  “When he gets gas, he buys me a kinder surprise egg.  That’s one of the little things that he does all the time.  He always comes up behind me and kisses me.  He always tells me that I’m beautiful and gorgeous.  He’s wonderful and handsome.  And it’s just so nice to be able to be with him and be in his arms all the time.  Sometimes I’ll be reaching for his hand and our hands will collide because he was reaching for mine.  He tells me that he loves me all the time.  We’ll be in the car and I’ll be DJ’ing and I have musical ADD, so I’ll listen to the first 20 sec of a song and change it, and he’ll say, pick a song.  But he totally accepts me how I am.  I was missing home and wanted biscuits or something from home, so he took me to the US candy store.  Isn’t that so sweet?!”

She was crying tear of joy.  “I just love him! Oh my gosh!”

I did not cry.  I was not crying.  I do not cry over mushy shit.  Oh, damn, my eyes are watering.

Announcement

“For all the naysayers who predicted a quick pregnancy, I AM STILL NOT PREGNANT!  Nah nah, na nah nah!” Lilly proclaimed.

Well, when you get married unexpectedly, people whisper about shotgun weddings.  This time, it was for love.  (Damn allergies.  My eyes are watering again.)

Cheers!

Tomorrow: Lucas’s Side of the Story.

My Australian Stalker

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“Quit blogging about me!” said the scrawny blonde to Lilly.  “I saw your blog posts about me and Lucas, and I don’t want you to talk about me anymore!”  She wagged her finger in Lilly’s direction, then stomped off.

Lilly took a picture of the woman (as a photographer of newborns, she’s used to getting action shots) and showed it to Lucas that night.  “Who is this?  Friend of yours?”

Lucas texted back, “Sheila Sourgrapes and I went to school together about 5 years ago, why?”

“I ran into her at the lolly shop, and she told me off.  Said that I should quit blogging about her,” Lilly said.

“What?  You don’t have a blog!” Lucas said.

“I KNOW RIGHT!  She must be talking about Jules’ blog.  She said, ‘I saw your posts about me and Lucas.’  OMG, she thinks that she’s Mitzi!” Lilly blurted out.

“No way.  I dated Mitzi in 2013, and I knew Sheila in 2010.  No way could they be the same person.  Besides, I never dated Sheila!” Lucas said.

Lilly busted out laughing.  “So this girl got in face, to tell me to quit blogging—when I don’t have a blog—about her—when the blog, that I didn’t write, wasn’t even about her!”

Lucas laughed, too.  Oh, good, I’m not in the doghouse this time!  He thought.

Lilly looked at him and said, “You’re not in the doghouse this time, Mister.  But you better watch it.  If random women walk up to me every week, we’re gonna have a talk.”

Lucas looked at her wide eyed.  Oh, God, now she’s reading my mind!  “I swear, I never dated her!  We were classmates!”

“Crazy ex-girlfriends!” Lilly said, ignoring what he said.  “This is the first time I’ve ever been the sane one in the relationship.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch…” Lucas said, muttering half under his breath.

“DOGHOUSE!” Lilly said.

Lilly and Lucas told me this story via Skype last night.  Well, night for me, morning for them!  I asked Lilly how she was doing in Australia, and she said that she loved it.  She’s only driven on the wrong side of the road once (not twice like Lucas contends, because one of those was in the neighborhood and doesn’t count).  It was by the mall and there was no divider in the road.  She corrected her course and no one was hurt.

She also confided that on the way to her wedding, she brought the car to a screeching halt when she screamed, “KANGAROOS!  I SEE KANGAROOS!”

Now, I gather that seeing kangaroos there is as common as seeing squirrels here in Texas or potatoes in Ireland.  Her Australian driver was flabbergasted.  “So?” she asked.  “You’re on your way to your wedding—your once-in-a-lifetime weddingand you’re excited about some ‘roos?”

“YES!!!” Lilly replied.

At approximately the same time, Lucas was paddle boarding.  Yes, the morning of his wedding, Lucas was out with his mates splashing around.  A bug landed on his foot, so he jumped to get away from it.  Unfortunately, he jumped off the board into the water.  His mates laughed as he struggled to the surface—he could have drown!  Fortunately, though, he didn’t and they made it to the wedding on schedule.

All this is to say, I have a very angry Sourgrapes in Australia who is angry that I’m blogging about her.  Even though I’m not.  So Sheila, please leave Lilly alone.  “You’re so vain, you probably think this [blog] is about you!”

But it’s not.

Now, if you’re a guy that I’ve dated, the next blog may, in fact, be about you.  But as far as I know, all my exes live in Texas (or the US, at least), so I really shouldn’t have any Australian stalkers.

Although – it is flattering.

Cheers!

Lilly and Lucas Tied The Knot

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Blueberry!!

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In a small, intimate ceremony, Lilly Peach married Lucas Blueberry.

“We’re soulmates!  We’re getting married!” Lilly told me.  “My family is very conservative.  They wanted us to get married before we moved in together.  Plus, being married makes getting a work visa in Australia so much easier.  So Lucas said, ‘Babes, let’s do it.  Let’s get married, for real.’  We were already planning the wedding in Hawaii, so we knew that we were going to be married—we just moved up the date, that’s all.  OHMYGOD I’M GETTING MARRIED!!”

That conversation was over a month ago.  Lilly and I went dress shopping for two weddings: March 2015 in Australia and June 2016 in Hawaii.  We didn’t buy any of the dresses that she tried on; her Mimi is making one, and a talented friend make the other.

The unique thing about this wedding is that it’s only the second time that Lilly has visited Australia.  Only the second time that Lilly has visited Australia.  Only the second time that she and her beloved were together.  However, there was over a year of Skype dating prior, and that first visit lasted almost a month.  So this is, by no means, a rush decision.

“It’s just going to be small, like just Lucas, his parents, and me.  Maybe his brothers, maybe a couple of close friends,” Lilly told me.  “One friend will have Mom skyped in, another will have Dad.”  Her parents divorced about a decade ago and live in different cities, so separate Skype screens were mandatory.

Later, she updated me with, “Someone insisted on hiring a photographer.  Someone else is bringing food.”  And later still, “Now the ladies are having hair and makeup done.”

And so the metaphorical snowball rolled down the hill.

We are still going to celebrate Lilly’s and Lucas’s love in lovely Hawaii in June 2016.  The deposit has been paid and the bridesmaid dresses are chosen.  The bride is scoping out a luau and shopping for a hotel.  Her sister and I are tasked with the bachelorette party.  Email me your favorite strippers.  No, nevermind—we’ll just go to La Bare’s, where there are lots of men under one roof.  So I hear.  😉

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Blueberry!  Congrats, my darling Lilly Peach-Blueberry!  You make a beautiful bride.  I can’t wait to see you in your next dress, next year!  I’ll see you before that, in September, when you come to visit.  XOXO!

Cheers!

This is not an April Fools Day joke.  Lilly and Lucas are really, truly, legally married! ❤

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Married Men

(Saturday, March 21) “You’re still living with your wife?” I asked.  I tried to keep the shock from showing on my face.  Be cool, I told myself, Just smile and have a good time.  Easier said than done, when I just found out that my date was living with his WIFE!

“Yes, like I said, we’ve been separated for more than a year.  I moved out for a while, but then…” Charlie Coconut looked off into space, thinking about what to say next.  “Well, like I said, it’s complicated.  We have two kids.  It was easier for me to live with them, in another room.”

Huh.  Can you be separated if you’re living in the same house?  I mean, would a judge accept that as legally separated?  I don’t know the law, but I do know that I avoid drama.  And this situation sounds like drama waiting to happen.

We were at the Holy Grail (searched for and found!) Pub for Lilly’s going away party.    Charlie excused himself to take a call, and Lilly’s mom said, “Wow, he is cute!!!  6 foot tall, brown hair, muscles—mmhmm!  How long have you been seeing him?”

I smiled and said, “This is our first date.  I don’t know if we’ll go out again; he’s complicated.”  I briefly explained to her and another friend what Charlie had just told me.  “So, I’m going to tell him that I won’t go out with him again, until after he gets his own place.”

My friends agreed.  “Though it’s a shame.  He’s awfully cute.”

Couldn’t argue with that.

Charlie returned.  He finished his 2nd beer and said, “I’d better not have another, or I’ll be sleeping here tonight.  I’m such a light weight.  I’ve been avoiding alcohol because I’m working out, getting in shape.  I got fat.”

I couldn’t agree with that.  “I wouldn’t say ‘fat.’  Soft, maybe.”  I said, truthfully.  That’s what I call myself; I’m in good shape, but I don’t have a six-pack.

“I’m getting in shape for bikini season,” he said, smiling.  Then he realized how that might be taken, and he added, “I don’t wear bikinis.  I don’t want you to think that I’m some kind of freak.  Oh God, I’m becoming bloggable, aren’t I?!”

I laughed!  I knew what he meant!  He was sweet and adorable and he read my blog!  Control yourself, Jules.  He’s not available.  I scowled at myself and said, He accepted my invitation to come out tonight.  Obviously, he’s interested.  And obviously, I was conflicted, because I was arguing with myself.

The rest of the night went well.  We laughed and joked with Lilly’s friends.  Lilly herself went from smiling to tearful goodbyes.  I looked away; I wasn’t ready for that yet.

As fun as the night was, I had to tell Charlie that I can’t date him until after he gets his own place.  He said, “I understand.  And I’m saving your FWB blog to read later.”

HA!

Hike_March28

Married Man II

Rick Raspberries isn’t exactly married, though he may be common law married.  He’s been living with his girlfriend for a year and a half, but has been with her for 7 years total.  We met at Company H and have become good friends.  Yesterday we hiked together on one of my favorite trails.  But I have to remember that we’re friends, like me and Reggie or me and Lilly: no matter how much I enjoy their company, we will never be anything more.

Unless, of course, Lilly becomes Lilly the Lesbian and flies back to Texas to sweep me off my feet.

I’m not holding my breath.

Match Update

In the meanwhile, my profile is still posted on Match.com.  How’s that going?  Here’s a small part of a recent conversation.

“If you could travel to any era, when would you go?” I ask in my profile.  It’s one of the conversation starter questions that Reggie and I wrote.  The goal is to see if a guy can make me laugh with his answer.

“I would travel back to the late 80’s and invest everything I had in Microsoft & Apple! LOL.  What about you?” Tony wrote.

“I’d go to the future, and see how small or large phones are.  My smart phone amazes me.  I wonder if we’ll have phones embedded in our hands (ala Blade Runner) or use small communicators (Star Trek),” I said.  I change my answer almost every time I’m asked, to keep it fresh.

“Yeah I would also like to travel to the future point in time when they’ve cured all sexually transmitted diseases – just to see how freaky people become? LOL,” Tony replied.

Wow, did he just go from talking about futuristic phones to sex?  Just, wow.

Maybe he’s a fan of Robert Heinlein, who combines science fiction and orgies.  If so, he should have mentioned the author, and even then, this is the 2nd email that the man has ever sent me.  Number two.  Kinda soon to be bringing up sex, IMHO.  I think even Heinlein waited until chapter 2.

Summary

So, instead of hanging out on Match waiting for Mr. Right, I’ve been hanging out with friends.  I just wish that just ONE of them was available!

Got to go, Reggie is on his way over, on his trip from Chicago to Austin.  He may not emotionally available, but at least he’s not married!

Cheers!