Lucas is 26 now!! Happy birthday, my Aussie friend!
Happy 26th Birthday!
This post is the second part of an update on my friend Lilly Peach-Blueberry and her new husband Lucas Blueberry. They married in March after she moved from Texas to Australia to be with him.
Deodorant Dream Saga
“I said good morning to Lilly, and she was all mad at me. I hadn’t been awake for more than 3 minutes, so I knew that I hadn’t done anything. It was literally all in her head. Literally! It was a dream!” Lucas said of the Deodorant Dream Saga.
Lilly insisted, “You wanted me to wear Cherry Vodka Scented Deodorant! How dare you!” Then she laughed, too.
I asked Lucas, “What are your favorite parts of being married?”
He answered, “Do I have to keep it G-rated? Then my favorite bits can’t be in there.” He smiled, kissed his love, then answered, “Seriously, though, I never had a girlfriend on my birthday before, and now I have a wife, which is even better. I love seeing her in morning, kissing her, doing things with her.” They kissed again.
Seriously, these two are too freakin’ cute!
I distracted him by saying, “Hey you two! I’m here, too! Break it up! Lucas, Lilly said that you go on random adventures together. What has been your favorite so far?”
“We saw a wallaroo. We were—you know—location scouting before the party, up in the mountains. We were looking for places to take good pictures. And there he was!” Lucas said.
Location scouting. Right. On the way to a party. I think we all know what newlyweds do on rural roads after sundown! (Wink, wink, nudge-nudge, know what I mean?)
“What other g-rated adventures have you two been on?” I prompted.
“We went to the museum!” he said, as excited as a five-year-old. “In the earthquake room at the Questacon Science Museum, we built a house out of blocks. You know, you build a house, then the earthquake shakes it down.” I assume that he meant there was a vibration table in the room, because I seriously doubt that the museum has daily earthquakes. But I haven’t been there, so I don’t know for sure.
Lucas continued, “A 10-year-old stole her blocks. She was so mad, she yelled the child. That was seriously rude of the little kid. Then we went to the tornado exhibit, where if you put your hand in the tornado, it will break.” Here I assume that he meant one of the special fans that has smoke in the air stream, so that you can see the flow and get an idea for how tornadoes are made. But then again, maybe someone has actually captured a tornado for the museum. Stranger things have happened.
Lucas said, “The 10-year old kept breaking it.”
Lilly piped in, “So rude! That little kid—urgh!”
Parents should keep an eye on their kids. Just because the place is educational, doesn’t mean that the little ones should be allowed to run wild.
Lucas was on a roll now. “You know that she’s afraid of heights, right?”
“Wait, the big bad Marine is afraid of heights?! I thought Marines weren’t scared of anything!” I said, shocked.
They laughed. “Oh, ya, big time!” Lilly said.
Lucas added, “There was this slide thing – she was terrified. Here, watch the video!”
“Oh my God, I kept my eyes closed the whole time!” Lilly said. “Look! I held onto the bar as long as possible!”
“We went to see our tree for our 2 month anniversary,” Lucas told me.
I smiled. Lilly had told me this two or three times. That was the tree where he had proposed on the day they had their pictures taken with the gorgeous view. The clouds had broken the sun shown down on them when she said, “Yes!”
Lilly added, “It was soooo cold! We froze our asses off!”
Then she looked at her darling, and they kissed. Again.
“Lucas!” I said, trying to break them apart. “Lilly tells me that you buy her a Kinder Surprise egg every time you go to the gas station. Tell me why?”
Kinder Surprise eggs are chocolate eggs with plastic toys inside. They aren’t sold in the US. Lilly said that it’s because Americans are too stupid; they might try to eat the toy. I think Americans are smarter than that; they’d eat the toy on purpose, so that they can sue the candy company. At any rate, Lilly loves them, and she hasn’t choked on a toy yet. As far as I know.
“Because I love seeing her smile, and they make her smile. I love seeing her happy,” he said.
Nailed it. Best. Answer. Ever.
Lilly told me how different Australia is. “We buy meat at the butcher’s store, which is in the shops. The grocery store is a stand-alone store, in the mall. It’s weird.”
“That is weird,” I said. “Hey, we’re on Skype! Show me the collect of toys that you’ve gotten from your Kinder Surprise eggs. You must have a pile by now!”
“They’re all over the place,” she answered. “I think there are some on the bench in the kitchen.”
I was shocked. “Lilly, you just said BENCH! Not kitchen counter! You’re being assimilated!”
The utter look of shock on her face was real. I couldn’t believe it! Next, she’ll stop saying, “y’all”!!
After we overcame our moment of panic, she continued to tell me about her new home.
“There’s no central air or heat. Electricity is too expensive. We actually have a wood burning stove that we stack with wood when we go to bed at night. Even then, it gets damn cold. It got down to -9C!!”
Lucas said, “Hold on, I’ll translate that.” He got on Google and came back with, “That’s 15.8 degrees F!!”
“Wow,” I said. “It gets that cold, and you don’t have heat?!”
“It’s a buggar in the morning, when it’s that cold and the fire has died” Lucas told me. “I went to my car the other day, and the handle was iced shut. I almost called into work and said, ‘Sorry, boss, my car is iced shut. Can’t come to work today.’”
“I would have! But then, here in Texas, I want to call into work for the opposite reason: the steering wheel is too hot to touch!” I answered. “Seriously, when it’s over 100F in the shade, leaving the air conditioned house is just as hard as when it’s 15 degrees outside.”
“I miss that!” Lilly said, pouting.
“Well, you’ll be here in March, for your bachelorette party, right?” I said. I felt a little pouty myself; I miss her terribly. Wine over Skype is just not the same as in person.
“October!” Lilly and Lucas said in unison. “We’ll be there in October!”
I did a little happy dance. It’s a little early to start stockpiling the wine, but it’s only a few months away. Lilly and Lucas are coming to Dallas! YAY!
Until then, we’ll continue to keep in touch over Skype. Congrats on almost-three months, my friends! Here’s to many more!
Tomorrow night is my date with Keith. Wish me luck!