“Four years of being married to my best friend, Alex Awesome! You rescued me, you demonstrated what love really is, you made my dreams come true and helped me reach for new ones, you are my everything. I love you, forever and always. Happy anniversary, my wonderful husband,” Holly Grape posted on her Facebook wall.
On any given day, chances are good that either she or he posted something romantic about the other. I grew used to the weekly pictures of fresh flowers that Holly would post with the caption, “From my wonderful husband!”
I’ll admit, the Scrooge in me was skeptical. But then, I had the chance to spend time with them over the summer. They are just as sappy and sweet in person.
So today, when I saw the anniversary post, I had to say something.
“Alex, when I find a guy worthy of my awesomeness, I’m sending him to you for training!” I commented. “Holly, hold onto this one!”
Holly (predictably) answered, “He’s mine!”
Couples like the Awesomes are inspiring. I mean, I hear so much about divorce and meet so many guys that aren’t my type, that it’s crazy cool to hear about a couple doing so damn well.
“Alex, how did y’all meet?” I asked my friend. “I know, you probably already told me, but I may have been drinking at the time.” Like the night that we sat on their back porch, a group of us, and finished off bottle after bottle of wine. He fed us steaks and salad, taking pains to ensure that mine was allergen-free and cooked to my liking.
Alex answered, “Me and Holly met the first time at a company picnic. She was still married as was I. I was part of a group of friends that every Tuesday would go to Buffalo Wild wings for a get together outside work. After a couple of times I started noticing things. Things like her subservience and bruises.”
Holly has bravely spoken out against her former husband and the abuse she suffered. It’s not a secret, but I hadn’t realized the role that Alex had played in getting her out of that bad situation.
“I friended her on Facebook and started chatting out of concern. One Facebook poke led to another and we started getting intimate. Eventually the more I saw her the more I became in awe of how amazing a woman she is. Beautiful, intelligent, great mother, and very nice set of tits.”
They dated casually for a while, then decided to start a new life together. Alex added, “It was a risk I am glad I took. She has given me everything I could ever want and more.”
“What advice do you have for a woman looking for a good man?” I asked.
“Never portray anything you are not. False pretenses are a very bad way to start a relationship. So just be yourself. From the start, always communicate. If a comment is made or an opinion is said, that is a way to open a conversation. Don’t make it condescending or rude but just talk. A valuable thing to learn is how to communicate. Never start with putting someone on the defense. Start off by saying, ‘in my opinion,’ or ‘I think.’ Not, ‘You should’ or ‘You have to’. Communication is something that will always make a relationship fail without it. If kids are involved, mixed family or not, you both have to be on the same page with everything. Never split kids like you have to teach and discipline yours and he has to teach and discipline his. Kids are smart and will test their limits with that.”
He continued, “For the guys, there is a book called The Five Love Languages. READ IT. Read it once every year also or more to refresh yourself also. Figure out what keeps your ladies love tank full.”
I’ve read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book and it is excellent. It helped me understand my relationships, as well as myself. For example, I tend to be a gift giver. Just ask my daughter Sally. I always have something for her when I see her, even if it’s just a pair of socks. Sometimes they’re even elk socks.
Alex continued, “If you notice, I put the woman first. How I live my life every single day is this….my kids and wife come first in every situation of everyday life. I never think or put myself first. It is not about me. I will receive plenty in return to keep my tank full. I know this because my kids and wife know this as well. I am not taken advantage of by anyone and won’t stand to be either. By putting my family first and knowing that I am meeting their needs give me more pleasure than any gift ever could.”
Wow. Just, wow.
“Nadia wants to know your number one sex tip,” I relayed. Ok, so I’m curious, too. It’s not every day that I meet a nice guy. Especially a nice guy who’s willing to share his story and advice.
He answered, “Again, it is not about me. It’s about thinking of your partner first. My wife is always pleased before I am…numerous times. Let’s face it ladies we all know men can be 2 pump chumps. Every once in a while that’s fine. Quickie in the morning before work or she is bent over in the kitchen and the urge arises. You also have to keep it exciting. Don’t fall into a rut. Your everyday life is a rut. Don’t make your sex life the same. That is a big reason why people stray. We want variety. You can find that with the same person.”
- Dress up for her on a date night.
- Open that jar she can’t.
- Grab her ass while she is walking upstairs.
- Come up behind her and kiss the back of her neck.
- Sometimes she just wants a fuck. So give it to her. We were doing laundry yesterday and I got her excited so I laid her down right there on the carpet. (We have the rug burns to prove it.) I didn’t get off…but it’s not about me. I got mine later.
“Not everyone is the same when it comes to sex. So what works for us may not be what works for someone else. But experiment, and COMMUNICATE. I like this…I don’t like this…I am willing to try this. There is nothing wrong with saying and letting your partner know what’s up. You are not a bad person or less of a lady if you like it dirty or something someone may look down upon, if it works for you,” Alex continued.
He paused to think, then added, “That’s the other thing. I know a lot of people today do not show affection in public or at home. Huge mistake in my opinion. People need comfort. A 20-second hug actually releases tension. It can put a person at ease and is far better than to just say, Hey how was your day.”
Heck, I’ll take some rug burns in exchange for that any day! Well, from the right guy, at the right time, of course.
Another reason that I respect the hell out of Alex and Holly’s relationship: they have tattoos that are symbols of their relationship. Like the “LO” on her left hand that matches the “VE” on his right hand, so that when their fingers are intertwined, everyone can see their love. Literally.
I’ve been divorced. Committing to another person is scary. Committing to a tattoo is beyond me. But committing to a person and a tattoo? That’s REAL.
Alex has other tats proclaiming his love, too. He has a sexy teacher tattoo which is a nod to his wife and her occupation. It is more curvy and realistic than most pinup pictures, and has her dark hair and green eyes.
Then there’s the family crest that is large on his chest. It combines his children and hers, and shows just how much those young people are now theirs.
“Not to be rude but me and the wife are heading out for our anniversary dinner. I would love to chat with you some more tomorrow,” Alex said.
“Of course, thanks!” I answered, “Have a great dinner!”
“Thank you. I’m kinda looking forward to dessert!” he said.
Happy Anniversary, Alex and Holly! May you keep inspiring us for years to come!
In Other News…
A couple of weeks ago, I scheduled my first date in months . It was canceled due to a cash flow problem. So, we rescheduled for last Saturday night.
And a freakin’ tornado blew through town.
A TORNADO. I cancelled a date because, oh, sorry! Heavy winds and funnel clouds are in the neighborhood. Think I’ll just stay home, thanks, see you another time.
As far as cancelling dates go, “Act of God” is a damn good reason.
We decided to get together on Sunday night instead. North Texas flooded.
FLOODED. Seriously. Fort Worth, Dallas, everything between and around, was under water with continuous rain for hours. At one point, quarter-inch hail pelted my house, sounding like bullets hitting the roof and walls.
Um, is God trying to tell us something? Like, maybe we weren’t meant to be together?
Eh, we’re stubborn. We’ll try again this weekend. I wonder if we’ll get locusts. Or maybe a snowstorm. As long as it’s not a car wreck, I’ll be ok. Then again, maybe I’ll just stay home. God has a strange sense of humor sometimes; no telling what He’ll think of next!
We can’t all be in great relationships like the Awesomes. Again, happy anniversary, friends! XO!