Bad Keith


“I’m very aloof, but I promise that you’ll know Bad Keith when you see/hear him ; – )” Keith texted me.  “I’ve got some spark in me, but I know when best to apply it.  Namely when holding you.”

I looked at the text and sighed.  Dating is a constant struggle to keep an eye out for red flags, but not read too much into things.

This text could be the one that is flashed up on the TV Nightly News with the news anchor announcing, “Jules Strawberry, the victim, received this text just two nights before Keith chained her in his dungeon.  Ignoring this red flag, Jules followed him to his lake house, where he said that he and his friends were holding a 4th of July party.  Instead, he held her captive.  Though she managed to escape, she could have become Bad Keith’s 13th murder victim.  Keith, more popularly known as the Nice Guy Serial Killer, had 12 bodies buried near the lake house.  Police are dredging the lake to see if more victims are lying in a watery grave.  We’ll be interviewing Jules tonight, who can tell us all about her clever escape.  We’ll ask her, ‘What the hell were you thinking, going out with him after that text?!’”

It’s not the first time that he’s referred to Bad Keith.  He mentioned that he shaved off his pencil ‘stache before he went to see his mom so that he could be Good Keith.

Ok, ok, he’s probably not a serial killer.  Logically, I know this.  Statistically, it’s highly improbable.  According to all the crime shows that I watch, serial killers are typically white men in their 30’s.  They’re the quiet guys that you’d never suspect.

Keith is 38.  Shit.

Ok, ok, I’m probably over-analyzing this.  He’s probably just flirting.

So I sent a flirty text back.  “Ha ha, I don’t know what you mean.  You’ll have to show me.  ; – )”

His response was, “Bad Keith says, ‘I promise!’”

WAAAAAAIT a minute.  Now he’s referring to his dark side in the third person AND quoting him?  Where’s the line between flirty and creepy?

And why the HELL did he have to pick a July 4th party out on the lake in the middle of nowhere?!

Happy July 4th Weekend, Everybody!  I’ll let you know how the date goes – if I’m clever enough to escape!


PS Swing dancing was so much fun, that we’re going back next week.  Jack joined me at the last minute, and we had a blast!

9 thoughts on “Bad Keith

  1. Pingback: Bad Keith Part II | Jules Rules Blog

    • LOL, it was a small class: the instructors (married to each other); a young couple; me; Jack; and an older woman (my age-ish; too old for Jack). He didn’t have anyone to impress!

      Seriously, though, DDR requires stomping, whereas West Coast Swing dancers drag their toes on the ground. They’re very different styles. I think I must’ve had East Coast Swing classes a few years back; I want to shake my shoulders and move my hands too much. We’re both learning!



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