Sci Fi Speed Dating

“I’m a breast cancer survivor; I’ve been cancer-free for three years now!” Merida told me.  We were chatting after speed dating had finished at ComiCon.  “You wouldn’t believe the guys who act like they’re doing me a favor by fucking me.  Really, just because I’ve gone under the knife, they think they’re doing me a favor!”  She fixed her dog’s mask.  “I made Causette’s costume from a pillow pet.  She doesn’t like it, but I promised that if she wore it today, she can wear one of her favorites tomorrow.  I rented the costume – I love how well it fits! – but the hair is mine.  People tell me that it’s not long enough, but it’s REAL!  It’s my hair!  Look, I’ll shake it, it doesn’t come off!”


Her costume and hair were indeed beautiful.

“These guys are so young!  There’s only one in our age group – I’m 52—and that’s the guy with the beard,” she said and made a face.  I gathered that beards were not her thing.

I asked permission to post her picture and quote her, to which she consented.  I always get permission to post people’s pictures on my blog and change their names; that’s my policy to protect the identity of others.  I was especially sensitive to that yesterday, since a guy was kicked out for recording his speed dating without permission.  He was given a choice: leave, or turn off his recorder and stay.  He chose to leave.  Cause he’s an asshole who was just there to get an article.

I was there to find true love, AND get an article.  See, there’s a difference!  🙂

The guys fell into these categories:

  • College students. As in, my son’s age or younger, so definitely too young for me.  I prefer 30 and older.  Yes, the Fireman was 27, but that didn’t work out because we didn’t have enough in common.  So I’m back to 30 and older.
  • Bearded guys. There were two: one who smoked (gross!) and the other who could play Santa Claus with just a change of clothes.  As in, too old for me, and I’m not even talking about the belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly.  No, thank you.
  • Argumentative guys. These were probably college students, but I point them out in a separate category, too.  These guys actually told me how much they despise Superman.  Normally, that wouldn’t be a topic at Speed Dating (I assume), but since I was dressed as Supergirl (or SuperWoman, if you prefer), the topic came up.
    • “Superman is lazy! He’s always trying to get out of work!” one guy told me.  He wouldn’t even listen to my counterargument that Superman works damn hard to throw nuclear missiles into the sun, save planes and trains from crashing, etc.  Pluh-lease.  If you don’t agree with my superhero choice, move on, because I really don’t care enough to argue about it.  Really, I’m just here to have fun, not start a war over which character kicks more ass.  Cause Batman would win.  That’s right, I prefer Batman; I just look good in the SuperGirl outfit, so I wore it.  Get over it!
    • The guy dressed in steam punk apparel was in the Green Lantern camp. He didn’t try to argue, so much as sneered at my choice of lower class hero.
  • The job of the guy working the event was to ensure that every lady had at least one number on her contact sheet at the end. That meant that he had to play the game, and write his number down on a lady’s call sheet if no one else did.  He was young, and funny, and lived in Massachusetts.  When asked if he’d actually show up to a date in Texas, his eyes rolled off to the I’m-lying-side and he said, “Sure, distance isn’t an issue when two people like each other.”
  • The movie star handsome guy who ran a website for an entertainment company previously, but now wrote articles. I wonder if he’s blogging about this event, too?


The Rules

For those of you who have never played this game (Speed Dating, that is), this is how it worked.  The ladies sit on one row, facing the middle of the room.  The guys sit on the row opposite, facing the ladies.  The couples have 2 minutes to talk, then the hostess calls, “Switch!” and the guy moves to the chair on his right.  After every guy has talked to every lady, the interview part of the game is done.  Then each person writes down which guys/ladies that he/she wants to get to know.

For this event, things were a little different than other organizers have done it.  The guys went to one table, while the ladies went to another.  We all wrote our badge numbers down on a sheet of paper.  Using names was against the rules, to protect everyone’s identity.  Then the guys and girls switched places, and we were told to put our contact name and numbers (or email addresses) on the page of the person/people that we’d like to call us.

That’s all well and good, but the guy who wrote his name down on my paper didn’t put his badge number.  I have no idea which guy that he was.  So I’m going with the theory that if he’s a guy that I like, he has my number and can call me.

Ok, really, I’m afraid that if I call the guy, it will turn out that he’s Santa.  Then Santa will have my number.  If Santa finds out all the shit that I do, I’ll NEVER EVER get another Christmas present in my life.  That’s a risk that I’m not willing to take.

Or, more realistically, the guy-who-looks-like-Santa will have my number and bug me.  Shudder.  I do not want a Santa-look-alike sending me naked pics!  No thank you!

I know, I know, the simplest explanation is the most likely.  I could text and ask who he is, he could say that he’s the guy with the beard, then I’d have to say, “No thank you.”  It’s just easier to let the guys that I liked, call me.  If they want.  ‘Cause if they don’t, that’s ok, too, I wasn’t really into them.  After all, we had a two minute conversation; I’m not invested.

This is what a GOOD (read: non-argumentative) speed dating chat sounds like, taken from one of the conversations that I had yesterday.

“Hi!  What do you do?” I asked.  I couldn’t introduce myself (names are against the rules) and we only have 2 minutes, so I jumped right in.

“I’m a geography teacher.  I teach high school students.  But on the side, I do standup comedy,” he said.  He was average in the looks department, a bit geeky, but skinny and nice.  “What do you do?”

“I’m a mechanical engineer.  I specialize in electronics packaging,” I said.

“Cool,” he said, and nodded.  That’s the reaction that I usually get.  If guys aren’t intimidated by those impressive-sounding sentences, they usually ask which products that I design.  Since the stuff I design isn’t sexy—no Bose speakers or muscle cars—I prefer that they don’t.

“Geography—that must be hard to teach,” I said.  I was actually thinking, “Most students hate geography!  It requires too much memorization!” but I kept that thought to myself.

“The topic isn’t hard, no.  The students can be difficult; they’re freshmen,” he confided.

I nodded, not knowing what else to say.

“Superman is your favorite superhero?” he queried.

I prayed that he wasn’t going to argue with me, like the last guy.  “Yes!  I love his optimism!” I said enthusiastically.

Teacher took that ball and ran with it.  He filled the rest of the conversation with how much he loved Superman.  I relaxed; finally, someone who understood!  At the end I thanked him and he shook my hand with a limp grip.

Why I was at Speed Dating

“Do the speed dating for your blog,” Reggie texted to me.  It was 12:15 p.m. and I was sitting down while Jack and Ed ran around.  My high heeled boots were way cute, but I had walked for hours in them and needed a rest.  So I had texted Reggie to see what he was doing.

“LOL let me check the schedule.  Can’t find it,” I said.  It wasn’t on the printed brochure that they handed me when we bought our tickets.

“Literally it would be quite different for a blog,” he added.

I looked online, on my phone’s browser.  There it was.  “They have 8 different times.  Next is at 1, I am meeting Michael soon and a coworker at 1, so I can’t go.”

“7 to 8 p.m.,” Reggie answered.  He must’ve found the schedule too.

“Urgh I don’t want to stay that late,” I said.  We had arrived at 9:30 and the doors opened at 10.  I was really ready to go already; another 8 hours sounded like torture, given the state of my feet after only 2.5 hours.

“Come back later,” Reggie suggested.

I considered it.  “I live 40 minutes away,” I answered.

“Quit your whining and do the speed dating for the blog,” Reggie said, heckling me.

He heckled me for a few more minutes before I agreed.  And I’m kinda glad that I did; otherwise, I would have wondered whether a Kevin Sorbo would have showed up.  Now I know; Kevin, Nathan Fillion, and all the other hunks weren’t there.  Damn it, maybe they showed up at the 7 p.m. session!

“Through the group’s Facebook page and word of mouth, Glitch has tallied at least 62 marriages and 43 couples currently engaged after meeting through the sessions…”  Holy Sheepskin, Batman!

That’s according an article in the Dallas Morning News, The article also said, “The gender breakdown at most conventions is something close to 80 percent male, Glitch said. To help ensure a roughly equivalent number of men and women, men are charged a fee to participate, usually around $30. Women either get in free or pay a smaller fee, like $3, depending on the anticipated demand.”  I didn’t pay a dime; I didn’t realize that the guys paid $30 for the pleasure of my company.  Eh, I’m worth it 😉


PS if you look at the pic in the article closely, you can see Merida in the background.  I’m sitting on the other side of her.  ; – )

PSS Tomorrow: Psych Eval Part II (see Part I here).  Plus, I may have a date tonight – wish me luck!

ComiCon Dallas 2015

ComiCon, ComiCon, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways…


I love the other SuperGirls who were freaked out by Lex’s Kryptonite Candy.


I love the Batman who posed with our Joker (Ed, our roommate).  And the guy in the background who photobombed, whether it was intentional or not.


I love the female Batman and Robin duo who faced off with the Joker and Lex.  Iron Man is in the background, trying to decide whether to join in.


Joker Ed loves the Harleys that jumped into his arms.  Especially the half-naked ones.  (Don’t worry, Ed’s girlfriend, he dumped that Harley off his lap as soon as the picture was done.  Well, almost immediately, anyway!)


And MORE Harleys loving on the Joker!  Joker Junior is on the left, eating a cookie and being jealous as hell.


Pre-Convention, we’re ready to roll.  Lex is being stoic, as usual.  (Usual for Lex.  My Jack has a hard time keeping a straight face!)


Joker Jr, who photobombed above, joined our Joker and a random Nurse Joker for a pic.  Love the creepy smiles!


Pre-Convention, I showed my Heroic Stance while Lex practiced his sneer.


And so I kicked his ass.  Nah, just posing for a Comic Book style pic!  (Would’ve been more convincing without the shoes in the background, lol!)


The highlight of the day, for Jack, was meeting Tara Strong.  I think he’s in love.

TomorrowlandFree pic at the Tomorrowland booth looks totally photoshopped.  We’re all different sizes!  But for real, only the background was changed.  The guys are offering me Krytonite Candy and I’m smiling, oblivious.  LOL!

I have about a hundred other pictures, but these are my favorites.  I think they tell the story well!  Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about SciFi Speed Dating.  Oh, yes, that happened!


Psych Eval

Lex Luthor for President! that Jack?

Lex Luthor for President!
Wait…is that Jack?

“What do you think about this one?” Gary asked me, and listed a username.

“Well, if you really want to know…” I emailed back.


  1. She looks older than her listed 34. Still, she’s cute. Maybe she’s been in too many tanning beds; but by the look of her pale complexion, I wouldn’t think so. Maybe she used to smoke; one of her friends is holding a cigarette in one of the pictures.  And maybe she still does!  Then again, maybe she just lied about her age.  It happens!
  2. She’s not completely over her divorce. She’s still discovering herself. You can tell by the phrase, “I am learning all about myself again.” From that I infer that she lost herself during the marriage; which means that she’s a person who tends to bend over backward to make someone happy.  Which is good and bad: I like it when someone makes me happy.  I hate it when they sacrifice their own happiness and sense of self to do so.  But then, maybe she was married to the Evil King of the North and she finally escaped.  Good for her!  (Keep a lookout for signs of PTSD!)
  3. She has 2 young boys – are you ok with that? She’s insecure about the boys, thinks that it’ll be hard to find someone who will accept them. (I read between the lines.)
  4. She has a great sense of humor. “I love my little Aholes” was her last read! And she listed that her dogs are female to balance out the male-dominated household, lol. (That’s in a part of the profile not shown in the picture; I didn’t copy the whole thing.)
  5. She seems like she could be clingy. That’s me reading between the lines again. You might be ok with that, to a certain extent. I’m just mentioning it so that you’ll be aware. Her last line is, “Don’t leave me hanging,” from which I can infer that someone left her dangling recently. Or she’s sent out a few emails and haven’t received responses – I know that feeling!
  6. It’s interesting that she has a graduate degree, but her prose is a series of run-on sentences. She’s nervous, and babbling. If she can do that in print, where it’s easy to go back and re-read what she just typed, then you can be sure that she’s going to be a chatty cathy in person!
  7. She’s giving you an opening to invite her to see “The Lion King.” Reminds me of Sue wanting to go to the Icecapades! There’s your opening, if you want to take it!

    Overall, I say, ask her out if you’re interested. But if you go out and you’re on the fence, cut her loose, because she’s going to get attached quickly.

    Let me know how it goes!

Let’s do this again – and I’ll get Reggie’s take next time, too!

In Other News

ComiCon is tomorrow.  Apparently I say this all wrong; it’s supposed to sound like “Comic – Con” as in “Comic Book Conference.  I say it like, “Commie Con,” which sounds a lot like Communists pulling off a heist.

At work today, we had Field Day.  It’s like recess for adults: darts, horseshoes, water balloon toss, relay race, dunk tank, and more.  My new, completely awesome company holds it once a year.  AND PAYS US TO GO!  Seriously, if someone else told me about this place, I’d think that they were making it up.  My job rocks!

Some of the teams are intensely competitive.  One named themselves, “El Cartel,” and had custom black shirts made.  A Mexican coworker muttered, “I’ll make a team next year named ISIS and see how you like it!”

Politics aside, I had the worse team of the lot.  We’re all short and petite, so during tug-of-war the other team LITERALLY knocked us off our feet.  Poor D went rolling.  He was a good sport; just dusted himself off and went back to the dunk tank.  Our water balloon burst on the second toss.  We didn’t have an entry for the bridge-building competition; the person assigned to make it, just didn’t.  Our horseshoe tossers had never held a horseshoe before, much less tossed one.  So, ya, El Cartel blew us away.

Overall, it was still a good day.  Fun, sun, and comradery.

We took a team pic and I took off my hat.  “Do I look ok?” I asked.

My team mates laughed.  “It’s Field Day!  We’re all hot and sweaty; who cares what you look like?”

I gasped.  “In several years—decades from now—you’re going to pull out this pic at my retirement party.  Someone is going to say, ‘She’s so young and beautiful—but look at that hat hair!’”

They laughed and told me that I looked fine.

The photographer took a couple of serious shots, then told us to act silly.  I assume a flying pose; I’m getting ready to be SuperGirl tomorrow.

My teammate gasped.  “Weren’t you just worried about pics for your retirement party?!”

Ok, so I’ll have silly pics.  At least my hair will look good!


Next time: ComiCon!  (Or is it Commie Con?)

Dear Jules: Intro Email

SuperGirl, aka SuperJules, Halloween 2014

SuperGirl, aka SuperJules, Halloween 2014

Mr. Blue Eyes texted, “Your name in my phone is SuperGirl.”

How awesome is that?!  This morning, I emailed him to say that Jack, Ed, and I are attending ComiCon.  He replied, “Text me when you get there.”

So I texted the number listed in his email, “This is Jules.  Now you have my number, too.”

He responded by telling me that I’m listed as SuperGirl.  Sweet!

Perspective: I’ll meet Mrs. Blue Eyes on Saturday, too.  That should kill my crush!

Dear Jules

“Match is such a rat race!  Write me some kickass message to get a lady’s attention lol.  Give me advice for a freshly-single, late 30’s guy.  Have you ever tried Single Parent Meet up?” wrote Gary from Indiana.

That’s Gary from Indiana, not someone from Gary, Indiana.  That’s an important distinction, because I’m not going on a political rant here.  Just giving some friendly dating advice.

Never fear, Jules is here!  Try this out, “Hi I’m Gary.  I read on your profile that you like —-.  So do I!  I particularly like —-.  How’s your day going?”

For example, I might write, “Hi, I’m Jules.  I read on your profile that you like hiking.  So do I!  I particularly like hiking through a beautiful forest on the side of a mountain, like I did in Colorado last summer.  How’s your day going?”

Introducing yourself is important!  So many guys forget to tell me their name, and then I don’t know what to call them.  You can also sign your name, but I prefer it up front.  Accentuate what you have in common.  You can also ask about something that you find interesting in their profile.  For example, I asked the Fireman, “Wow you went to Tibet!  What was that like?”  I found out that he played pool with the monks, with is a pretty cool story!

Unfortunately, that’s all he’d tell me.  He’s not a very good storyteller.  It’s hard to make pool with Tibetan monks sound boring, but he did it!

Basically, give her a reason to look at your profile, then give her a question to answer.  Good luck!  Let me know how it goes!

In regards to Single Parent Meet up, no, I have not tried it.  I tried Christian Mingle, where I met a nice guy with whom I am still friends.  But he wanted babies, and my Baby Factory is shut down, so we weren’t a romantic match.

Then I tried Gluten Free Singles, which is a very niche group.  Turns out, of the millions of people who live in the greater Dallas-Fort Worth area, only 4 gluten free guys signed up.  One smoked (ew), one was too young for me (hey, even I have an age limit), and the other two didn’t respond to my emails.  So much for that experiment.  I hear that it’s big in San Francisco, so I thought about moving there, but it seemed to be an awful lot of trouble just for a dating website.

My current theory is that niche groups can have great websites, if they can attract enough members.  It’s a catch 22: they have to have members to attract members.  So I stay away from the smaller sites.  Most guys are on more than one, anyway, like OK Cupid, Match, and Plenty of Fish.  Seriously, I’ve had more than one guy forget which one he met me on!

Future Fun

This weekend is ComiCon.  The guys (Jack and Ed) are out shopping for costumes as I type this.  When they get back, we’re shaving Jack’s head so that he can represent a proper Lex Luthor!

The next weekend (June 6th), we’ll travel to Austin to watch Sally Strawberry graduate from high school.  Sniff, sniff, my little girl is an adult!

My camera is going to get a workout this month.  Check back for what will be some awesome pictures!

Yes, the glass is always half full.  Unless there’s a cute waiter around, then it’s half empty and I need a refill.  ; – )


ComiCon is Coming To Town! and Match Update


So this happened.  Reading his email, he’s a great guy and we should date because he thinks I’m gorgeous.  And beautiful.  There is absolutely no indication that he read my profile, although he proclaims that he’s interested to know me.  Not to be too superficial, but he’s dorky looking with a big nose.  He didn’t smile in his pictures, either; it bothers me when people don’t smile.  Sigh.  Who said that being beautiful was easy?

I had been emailing another gentleman, but that conversation died when he sent this email, “Well I’m from [a small town 30 minutes north of Dallas].  I own a pool cleaning service in my small town.”  On one hand, good for him for being a business owner!  On the other hand, I have absolutely no idea what to say in response.  We already covered the other basics in the other emails that I sent him, and he didn’t ask me a question to which I could respond.  Help me out, dude!  Don’t make this like pulling teeth!  I should enjoy talking to you, not feel like it’s work.

So I sent back, “Wow, you own a business, that’s a cool!  What do you do for fun?”  I can ask that because he didn’t fill out his profile.  But he is cute, so I’ll send a couple more emails before I give up.

Sheldon (The Fireman) sent me a text message, “Should be good for Friday.”

Meaning, he should be able to go out on Friday.  That is the least enthusiastic text message that I have ever seen.

Ok, ok, I know that I shouldn’t read too much into texts; they’re short messages, and aren’t meant to relay emotion.  STILL, he could have added, “Looking forward to seeing you,” or some such.  I guess I’m glad he didn’t; I can send back a “No thank you” with less guilt.  Or maybe I’ll tell him about my plans on Saturday, and see if he runs away.  But then, he may just want to join us.


Jack was excited when I told him that Mr. Blue Eyes has a wife, but not for the same reasons as me.

“ComiCon is this weekend?!” he asked, with the bright, hopeful eyes of a child who just heard that the neighbor is giving away free puppies.

Ed joined in the conversation, and it morphed from, “Let’s go!” to “Let’s all wear matching costumes!”

That last one was from me.  If we’re going to go, let’s do it RIGHT!

We settled on Superman.  I’ll be Supergirl (I still have the costume from Halloween) and Ed will be Superman.  “I need to grow 6 inches, dye my hair black, and shave off my beard,” he said.  “Plus, find a costume that doesn’t have those fake muscles.  I hate those!  I once saw a Superman hoodie with fake muscles.  WHY?!”

I’m not sure if he’s serious about shaving off his beard and dying his hair black, but I’m pretty sure that he was kidding about growing 6”.

Jack wants to shave his head and go as Lex Luthor.   Ed tried to tell him to buy a fake bald cap, but Jack insisted that we do this right.  Wouldn’t be the first time that he went bald, and will be cooler for summer, so why not?  Maybe he’ll find some fangirl that wants to rub his head for luck.

He also wants to walk around with green Pop Rocks and pretend like they’re Kryptonite.  That would give me a good excuse to avoid flying.  I never quite got the knack.

“They have Speed Dating!” Jack informed me.

I like to think that he was just reading the schedule.  After all, I don’t think that ComiCon is the best place to find a new boyfriend.  The conversation would go like this:

“So, you’re Spiderman.  What do you do, really?” I’d ask.

“I work as a photographer for a newspaper,” he’d answer.

“Ya.  Is your real name, Peter Parker?” I’d ask.

“How’d you know?!” he’s exclaim.

Then Peter and Clark Kent would get into a big discussion about the decline of print media.  “Having a secret identity as a blogger, is just not as cool,” Clark would say.

“Everyone and their dog has a cell phone with a camera.  They’re putting photojournalists out of business!” Peter would lament.

Then again, Jack and Sally met the Abercrombie Finch models at the My Little Pony Convention.  Might be worth the price of admission to see some celebrities.  ; – )


Mad Max: The Second Date


“My wife and I are going to ComiCon this weekend.  Matt Smith will be there,” Mr. Blue Eyes said.

Excuse me?!  No wedding ring, no pictures on his desk—but he’s MARRIED?!  Why has he been flirting with me, then?  Damn, maybe he’s just being friendly.  Double damn.

Oh well, we’re coworkers, so I didn’t want to go there anyway.  And I like David Tennant better.

However, men should wear rings and keep pictures on their desk.  There oughta be a law!

Movie Review

Spoiler alert!  Don’t read this if you haven’t seen the movie.

Still with me?  Good.

The movie left a lot unsaid.  Why does Nux need blood transfusions?  How did Max stay alive through hours of blood transfusions, when his mouth was muzzled so that he couldn’t eat?  Did Nux have cancer from radiation poisoning (the two bumps on his clavicle)?  What was the silver spray that two of the characters inhaled?

More importantly, what was the Darth Vader-like king?  Why did he live longer than the other men?

Aside from all that, the movie was fast paced and exciting.  I just feel like I missed the plot.  Like, I need to go read the book so that I know what was going on, and why.

Date Review

Sheldon the Fireman was preoccupied with the weather.  He’s not the only one.  Seattle and England may be used to weeks of rain, but previously-drought-stricken Texas isn’t.  It’s not just damned unusual, it’s disturbing.  Lakes that had been down to historic lows last year, are now reaching capacity.  Houston is flooding so much that the city has shut down; people can’t get to work over the flooded interstates.  So if Sheldon was checking text messages and weather reports, which is part of his job, I can’t fault him.

It did make for rather boring conversation.  At least he realized that, and stopped himself.  He told me, “I’m not going to complain or talk about the weather any more.  Tell me about metals or something, so that we’re even.”

I laughed.  Instead, I showed him pictures of my beloved nieces, nephews, and sister-in-law.  “My brother Ryan went to Afghanistan, and came back with half an ear,” I said.

“Really?  Sniper?  IED?” Sheldon guessed.

“Nope.  Skin cancer.”  True story!  “The doctors had to amputate half his ear!  Since skin cancer runs in the family, I went for a checkup last month.  Doc cut out a freckle from my left calf.  I showed him the scar and told him that I was thinking of him the whole time.  He answered, ‘Is that a demotion from Pain In The Ass?’”  I smiled.  “I thought his wife was going to fuss at him for cussing in front of the kids.  Instead, she said, ‘Honey, you’ll always be a pain in the ass.’”  I laughed.  Those two are so cute together!

After the movie, Sheldon asked if I wanted to do something else, but he didn’t want to sit in the bar.  Instead, he asked if I was free on Wednesday.  I agreed, but we need to do something besides sit there.  “How about we do something in your neighborhood?” I suggested, hinting that we’d be near his place.

“Nah, there’s NOTHING to do there,” he said, with emphasis.

I took a deep breath.  He was NOT taking the hint.  “I bet there’s bowling!”  There’s a bowling alley in every neighborhood in Texas, usually near a Dairy Queen and not far from a church.

“There is a bowling alley.  Last time I bowled a 260, but that was years ago.  Let me think about it,” Sheldon replied.

I gave him a peck on the lips – his lips remained firmly closed—and turned to go.

“Give me a hug!” he insisted.

I obliged with a friendly hug.  Seriously, it was friendly, not too hard, and he kept his hands on my back.  Unfortunately.

Reggie’s Review

“Dump him,” Reggie told me.

“Why?  Because he doesn’t want to make out in public?” I asked, rolling my eyes.  Reggie couldn’t see the eye roll, but I’m sure that he could hear it in my voice.  That’s one of the benefits of being friends for so long.

“Yes.  Unless you want a friendly date for the moment, like a life raft while you’re waiting for a ship,” he said.

I laughed.  “A life raft, eh?”

“Yes!  Movies is a terrible date.  You can’t talk to each other,” Reggie continued.

“Wait a minute!  One of your rules is that I should do something on a date that I want to do.  I wanted to go see Mad Max,” I said.

“So you used him.  Hey, I’m not saying that using him is a bad thing, especially if he wanted to see the movie, too,” Reggie clarified.  “I’m saying that a good date would be to go to the gun range in the afternoon—maybe 4 p.m.—then if that goes well, do dinner.  That lessens the pressure of going to dinner, then what do you do?  Well, if the gun range and dinner went well, you can go back to his place.”

“I do not want a marathon date.  Dates should be a couple of hours long.  Don’t drag me around all day, to the gun range, to dinner, somewhere else, then expect me to be energetic in the bedroom.  I’ll be exhausted.  Start with dinner, do one activity, then if things are going well, we can make out.  That way, I still have energy,” I said.  “Sheldon did mention the gun range, while we were bowling.  I’m not sure that’s what I want to do, but it’s an option.”

“Glow-in-the dark miniature golf at Main Event in Frisco would be fun,” Reggie said, “Something active.  But seriously, ditch Mr-Peck-On-the-Lips, Give-Me-a-Hug.  You need romance!  Not these mixed signals.  If Molly had sat on the couch, I could have slowly scooted closer to her.  But no!  She sat on the chair.  Why did she invite me over to her house in the first place?  Seriously to just feed me a slice of cake and some ice cream?”

I laughed.  Reggie often moved from talking about my current predicament to some similar situation that he had gone through.  “Yes, she definitely sent you mixed signals.  I’m not sure about Sheldon; turns out that I had a work meeting tomorrow night, so we might get together on Friday.”

“What do you mean, might?  If he’s not excited to see you, even for bowling, then you should dump the guy.  Find someone who’s more exciting,” Reggie said.

I laughed again.  I love when my friends stick up for me!  “I’ll think about it.  Thanks, Reggie!”

Should I give Sheldon another chance, and see if he steps up and makes out, or should I move on?  Up, out, on – I wish that described our date.


Rain, Rain, Go Away!

Here in Texas, people are joking about building arcs.  But with every day that passes, and with every day of rain, the joke is less funny.  Should we stockpiling lumber?

Texas has been a drought for so long, that everyone is confused.  I heard that one lake had water flowing over its spillway for the first time in 12 years.  Lake Texoma is at 90% capacity.  My backyard, and frankly everywhere I look, reminds me of Louisiana.  That is, swampland.  I saw kayaks for sale at Wal-mart.  Did they have those last year?

I’m reminded of a short story by Ray Bradbury that took place on Venus.  The sun shined once every 7 years, but only for 2 hours.  The rest of the time, the sky rained.  And rained.  And rained.  One child tried to explain to the others what the sun was like; they laughed at her.  They couldn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend what the sun would look like in a clear sky.

That’s kinda how I feel right now.

I was excited about the forecast for today, because it was supposed to be cloudy.  That is, there should not have been water falling from the heavens.  I got up at 7 a.m., dressed, and went for a run.  Or, I would have, if drops of rain hadn’t pelleted me.  Damn it.  Or in this case, dam it.  As in, dam up the sky, I want to go for a run!  Or, even better, a hike!

I also wanted to go to a movie tonight with the Fireman.  Let’s call him something else; how about Mike?  Just kidding!  Let’s call him Sheldon, since he identifies with Jim Parson’s character on The Big Bang Theory.  Anyhow, Sheldon worked all weekend due to the yucky weather.  He saved one woman who had driven her minivan onto a flooded street.  Because he was angry that she drove into deep water, and he was exhausted from staying up all night watching the radar, he let her minivan be swept away.

At least, that’s how I interpreted his text message, “Helped save a lady by getting her out of high water before her minivan floated away.”  I imagine that he could have saved her and simultaneously attached a grappling hook her minivan.  But then, he isn’t Superman or a character in Mission Impossible, so I may have slightly exaggerated confidence in his abilities.

I did get to spend time with family this weekend.  Marie and Ryan are here from Illinois (formerly of Colorado) with their 6 children.  It’s always good to see them.  Marie and I were in the same class in high school and became friends before she started dating my brother.  He’s two years older than we are, and was a freshman in college when they met.  So he’s her high school sweetheart.  They’re so adorable together, even after 19 years of marriage.  < 3

I saw them at Dad’s house, so I thanked the Lt. Col. for his service (USAF, 23 years, including the Vietnam War).  His father (my grandpa) was in the Navy and served in the Korean War.  Ryan was in the Air Force, too, but thankfully avoided major conflicts.  A huge, “thank you,” to any veterans reading this.  Thank you!!  I appreciate you volunteering for a potentially fatal job, so that we can enjoy freedom.  Thank you!!

Ok, Sheldon just texted that the storm should stop in an hour, so we can still go see Mad Max.  I’ll wear my boots and splash through the rain puddles, braving the parking lots and roads which have become swampland.  The movie is set in a desert, thank God.