On the Rebound

Jules 31 Aug-1127

“In order to get OVER someone, you need to get UNDER someone else!” Dr. Cassandra Cantelope told me. She giggled, almost spilling her wine onto my couch. “Doctor’s orders!”

“OhmyGod we should make a list of all the guys that she’s going to sleep with!” Patty piped in.

“Um, I’m not going to sleep around,” I told them. “I just broke up with Mike two weeks ago. We were together for two years. I need some time to be alone.” This was July 2012 and we were at my place on a Saturday night.

“No, no, no, NO!” Megan said, wagging her finger at me. “It’s your BIRTHDAY! You should be CELEBRATING! Not moping around for some man who isn’t worth your time.”

“That’s right, girl! You said it!” Annalisa agreed.

“Now, who have you been eyeing? Come on, spill!” Cassandra ordered.

I smiled. “You’re right,” I said, warming up to the idea. I did need to move on. “I’ve spent enough nights alone feeling sorry for myself, which is part of the reason that I had to break up with the guy. A person shouldn’t feel alone when they’re in a relationship.”

“Ya!” Megan said, cheering me on.

“So, give us a name!” Cassandra encouraged.

“There is this one cute guy at work,” I said.

“Oh, no, not someone from work,” Theresa told me.

“Absolutely someone from work! Meaningless sex. Then move on. Don’t get attached, just go to the next name on the list,” the doctor decreed.

I laughed. “That soooo isn’t my style!” I said. “I’m a serial monogamist. I don’t do one night stands and I don’t guys from work.” A tinge of honesty prompted me to add, “Any more. I met Mike from work, and he’s the last one!”

We giggled and poured more wine. By the time the night was through, Cassandra had pulled several names out of me. These were guys that I had noticed in passing, that were single, and had potential. When I got to one name in particular, Annalisa sat up straight.

“Oh, no, Honey! You don’t really mean Tom Garcia!” she said. “He plays all sweet and innocent, but he has a different girl in his bed every single night! Seriously! Get this—he bought a cat for his daughter, which he keeps in the living room. He’s allergic so the cat isn’t allowed in his bedroom. He’ll get a girl drunk, she’ll say that she’s allergic to cats, and he’ll offer to let her share his bed. And you know he doesn’t mean to sleep!”

“Wow!” I said, while the others laughed. “I am not looking forward to dating again!”

Dr. Cassandra was determined to fill my calendar. “Now, don’t go home with any of these guys. They might have a webcam set up to film you. So don’t go to their house—ever. Instead, bring them back here. We’ll set up our own webcam.”

I laughed, hoping that she was joking.

“No, seriously! Webcams are real things. You might not even know that they’re there. So bring ‘em here, then afterward, call me and tell me how good they were,” Cassandra told me.

“You want ratings,” I said, staring at her.

“Oh yes! Now, we can have several categories, from Energetic to Technique,” Cassandra said.

I wasn’t sure how serious that she was. I could only hope that she was joking.

Megan added, “And duration! You don’t want a guy who is going to finish before you.”

Nods and agreement all around.

Nadia added, “And physique. That should be a criterium as well.”

As the night went on, our list grew. If only we had written down the list! Oh, well, it’s probably for the best. I didn’t date any of the guys that we listed. Annalisa set me up with a guy who was fun for a little while (2 or 3 dates). Megan spent a drunk night with Tom, and was very disappointed in the duration and physique categories. I was glad that I had avoided that; he and I are still friends, and I’d like to keep it that way.

Fast forward to last week.

Allie Apple

“You know how I’ve been talking to that guy online?” Allie asked me.

“The one in the pictures that you showed me? Ya, he’s cute! I’d date him!” I said. Which is surprising, because Allie and I are usually attracted to different guys. I gravitate toward skinny, nerdy guys, while she’s more into cowboys or soldiers.

“I met him last night,” she said.

“Oh, that’s right! You met him for margaritas and Mexican food, right?” I said, all excited for her.

“Yep. Well, he shows up in a bowling shirt. You know, like Charlie Sheen wears on Two and a Half Men? Well, I hate that style. Yuck.”

“Oh, no!” I said. “Surely there’s more than that. You wouldn’t reject a man just for bad fashion sense,” I said.

“Oh there’s more! The first words out of his mouth were in a feminine voice. I was all like, ‘Please, don’t let that be your real voice!’ We never talked on the phone, we just texted, you know? Well, thank God he was just being sarcastic.”

I shuddered. “STILL! For those to be the first words out of his mouth, and the first time that you hear his voice—urgh! Not a good first impression!” I said.

“Right! Completely turned me off. And he wasn’t as cute as his pictures, either. I could tell that it was him, so those pictures were him, but from his best angle. You know? Like, his face is more flat viewed from the front. His features aren’t as pronounced in real life.”

“Oh, so sorry to hear that! After all that time spent texting him, too. You must be disappointed.”

She nodded. “Ya, but we’re going to be friends. He’ll be someone to shoot pool with, anyway.”

That’s like a consolation prize: someone to get you out of the house. Better luck next time, Allie!

Naughty Nadia

“You will not believe what I did,” Nadia told me.

“What? You signed up for online dating?” I guessed.

“YES! Not only that, I have 5 dates lined up in the next week!” she said. “When I’m on the rebound, honey, I’m on the rebound! I do this shit right!”

“You go girl!” I told her.

“I feel like such a ho!” she said, laughing.

“Naw,” I said, “You’re only a ho if sleep with all 5. I know you, you’re not going to do that.”

So over the next blog or more, I’ll be following Nadia’s adventures. Let’s hope she has more luck than Allie!

And though I don’t necessarily believe it, I shared the doctor’s advice with Nadia. “My friend the pediatrician told me, ‘In order to get OVER someone, you need to get UNDER someone else!’ So, you do what you’ve gotta do!”

Cheers!

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Boys Are Stupid

Jules_Kelly_Dinner

Jules (me) and Gala in Denver, August 2014

“Boys are stupid,” Gala Pear texted. I interpreted that as, “A guy upset me and I need to vent.”

“Right!” I texted back. Can’t argue with that one.

This convo was too much for text, so she called me.

“We freakin’ went to Mexico together!” she said, “And had a great time! Now, nothing. I mean, he’ll text me back that he’s busy, but he doesn’t call me later or anything.” Her tone was partly angry, partly whining, and mostly pouty. Gala is completely adorable and I just wanted to give her a hug. Who could resist this beautiful woman: long, wavy brown hair; 5’2” short; tight body; and stinkin’ smart. She’s a mechanical engineer like me, and she’s got it all going on!

“Wow! This is the guy who refused to use the term ‘boyfriend,’ right?” I asked.

“YES! He made it very clear that he wasn’t ready to commit, which made things a little awkward, because I wasn’t sure what we were. You know?” Gala said.

I had think about that for a minute. A translation to Guy Speak might be, “Since he wouldn’t call me his girlfriend, I didn’t know whether he wanted to hold hands or how he expected me to act toward him. Too lovey-dovey, and he might get turned off, thinking I’m desperate or clingy. Too little affection, and he might think I’m being cold or stand-offish. It’s a difficult balance when you don’t know what to expect, and what the other person is expecting.”

I answered, “Oh ya! I’ve been there!” Then I added, “I can tell you how to drive him crazy. It’s a trick that you probably already know.”

“Tell me!” she said.

“Radio silence. Don’t text, don’t call. Let him wonder if you’ve moved on,” I answered.

“Love it! You’re right, I knew that. It’s just sooooo hard to do!” she said. “I tend to text when I’m thinking about him. Which is way too often!”

“Ya, I know. I saw a pict: 6-pack abs and chiseled features. YUM!” I exclaimed.

We giggled and talked some more. I told her about Zach.

“He texts me every morning with, ‘Good morning, Beautiful!’ It’s such a great way to start the day.”

“I bet!” Gala answered.

“And he texts me, ‘Good night! I love you! Xoxo’ every night,” I continued.

“Cute! I’m jealous, that’s so sweet!” she said, and then, “Hold on, I just received a text. It’s him.”

“Do I need to let you go so that you can answer that?” I asked.

“No, I”ll make him wait,” she said.

“Good for you!”

We finished our talk and I hung up smiling. I love that woman.

Jules_Kelly_bridge_crop

Jules (me) and Gala, Denver, August 2014

 

Drunk Text

A couple of days later, she called back. “Oh my God, I got soooo drunk last night! Candy and I went out and we were doing good, until we ran into this guy…” Long story short: dude had devastated – DEVASTATED – Candy’s friend and then didn’t even remember meeting Candy before. He was hitting on Candy like nothing had ever happened! “That’s when we starte3d doing shots,” Gala told me.

“Uh Oh,” I said.

“Ya,” she continued, “I text him. I kinda chewed him out for being so unavailable since we got back. I mean, seriously, Mexico was so fun!” She paused. “It’s ok, though, because the next day, I called and apologized. We finally talked, you know? It was good. Turns out, Mexico wasn’t as romantic as he expected.”

“Wait, let me get this straight,” I said. “He set the agenda in Mexico, he made it clear that he didn’t want to be called your boyfriend, and then he complains that it wasn’t romantic enough?!” I was incredulous. “What the hell?!”

“Exactly. I mean, we didn’t get to do all the things that we wanted to do. And part of that was my fault, because I wanted to do them too and we didn’t. For example, we spent all day one day drinking and I fell asleep—passed out. Hello, we had been drinking all day. So whose fault was it, really? If you want to do stuff, let’s do stuff, don’t expect me to be full of energy after a day of drinking!”

“Right! I would have been passed out, too! Wow, he got mad at you over that?!” I really couldn’t believe this guy.

“Well, not mad exactly, just disappointed. And like I said, I was a little disappointed too, that we didn’t get to do everything that we wanted. But I really wish that we could have gone somewhere else. This was a spot where he had taken his ex, so he had really good memories of the place.”

“Wait a minute,” I said, “He took you to a place where he previously took another woman?! You know, there are lots of places in the world—you could have picked a different spot!”

“I know! Right! But he totally wanted to go back, and this was the cheapest vacation on our list, and so…well, that’s where we went.”

Gala was being all mature and calm. She was giving this guy way too much credit. “Gala, he could have just told you all this, and saved you a lot of grief,” I said outright.

“I know! Exactly! That’s what makes me so mad. He didn’t have to ignore me for a week and drive me freakin’ nuts wondering what was going on, in his head. He could have just told me. Well, at least I know now.” I could imagine her shrugging.

“And where does that leave you? Are you friends? Are you going to see him again?” I asked.

“Ya, we left it like, we might hang out again as friends. I don’t know what he’s thinking. We’re definitely going to take some time apart.” Gala shook her head, I imagined. “The really tough thing is, his 11-year-old son called me on Thursday, and asked if I was coming over that weekend.”

“Whoa!” I said, “That’s rough! What did you say?!”

“I told him that I didn’t know, that he’d have to ask his dad,” she answered.

“Wow. That must be hard,” I said.

“Ya. I wonder if he’s thinking about getting back with his baby mama. I just don’t know what’s going on with him.” Gala sounded resigned, like she’d given up.

“Boys are stupid,” I said, to cheer her up.

“Ya!” she said.

“He’s really stupid. You’re beautiful, and really super smart, and you’ve got that hot body. If you keep working out like you have, I won’t be able to resist you. I’ll have to get a hotel room when I visit, just to keep me from attacking you.”

Gala giggled. “I love you so much!”

“I love you, too!” I said, glad to hear her smile.

The truth at the moment was, I was (am) in a very different place. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Zach, who makes me very happy. He’s a sweetheart and I’m walking around with hearts in my eyes.

Last night at 10 p.m., I received a text from a guy, “Wassup?” OMG this guy didn’t even try to use proper words, just a slang term for a longer sentence, “What is up?” Ok, if you want me to respond, use real words, please. Especially since this guy last texted me on August 27th, after a two-year period of silence. TWO FREAKIN YEARS. Even though he looks like Denzel Washington in his prime, he doesn’t get to treat me like that.  NO ONE gets to treat me like that! I wish that I had gained 200 lbs, just so that when we meet for the booty call that he wants, I can see the look on his face.

This morning, he texted, “Hello.” I guess he realized that I wasn’t going to respond to his previous text and he decided to use real words. I still ignored him.

Boys are stupid.

Except for Zach. He’s wonderful. And Jack is pretty cool, too. I guess what I’m sayin’ is, Gala, there are good ones out there. Keep looking!

Cheers!

Jules_Kelly_bridge

Jules and Gala, Denver, August 2014 We ❤ Hiking!

Our First Fight

Car_20141021

“Go toy with someone else!” Zack texted.

I took a deep breath. I didn’t understand where this was coming from, but I knew what I would want to hear if I were that angry. “I’m sorry,” I texted back.

After a day or so of silence, one heart-filled blog, and an even more heart-filled conversation, we worked things out. I think that 90% of the problem was that he was sick and grumpy.   When I’m sick, I tend to take things the wrong way and get upset, too. Here are three examples of what rubbed him the wrong way, and what I really meant.

  1. Do You Want to Move to DC?

“My friend Reggie is applying for a job in DC. He wants me to apply, too. What do you think about DC?”

Zack’s thinking, “Why does she want to follow him across the country? WTH?”

I was thinking, “I would never move to DC, but it’s fun to think about. The kids and I have never visited our nation’s capitol. I have friends on the east coast: Maryland, South Carolina, and DC. And the job would be making fun gadgets for agents like James Bond’s Q!”

When Zack explained how this upset him, I explained that Reggie is like a brother to me. If I’m going to dream about moving to another city, I might as well move to a city with one of my BFF’s. Reggie may not get the job; he may end up moving to Texas. Who knows? The bottom line is, I asked Zack what he thought. I included him in my vision of the future. When I put it that way, he calmed down. A lot.

  1. My Blog Post “I want a BF Like My GF!”

Zach was thinking, “She’s tired of me already?!”

I was thinking, “I need something fun to post; that last one was such a downer. Oh look, a list that I wrote in 2005! This will be cute to post. I’ll add a shout out to my current BFF’s.” Then I thought, “I’d like to mention my current man, but we just started dating. Would that be weird? Ya, it’s a little soon.”

When Zach told me that this post hurt his feelings, I went back and look at the list. “I was describing you,” I told him. Because, he fits all but about one of those. His hair isn’t brown. Uh, that’s ok! He’s freakin’ awesome!

  1. “I’m going to get hit on when I go out tonight.”

I typed this text when I was planning to go out with the girls while Zack was out of town. It was little tongue-in-cheek. I didn’t really feel like going out, and I was trying to psych myself up. I was also fishing for compliments.

Zack was thinking, “Way to throw it in my face! Conceited much?!” Then he texted, “Ok.”

I was thinking, “Come on, flirt with me. I wish you were here to hit on me. Heck, if you were here, I wouldn’t have to go out. We could just snuggle on the couch. Might as well make the best of this situation, and have a little fun with the fact that you’re out of town. I miss you!”

Summary

Text messages are nice for quick communication, but they leave soooooo much out that they’re easy to be misinterpreted. Most days, when he’s not sick, Zack understands how I intend things. He takes them in the best possible way. I was blindsided when he snapped at me.

However, we got through this. We worked things out, without name calling, without getting ugly. And that makes me smile. A measure of the success of a couple isn’t how well they get along on a good day; it’s how well they can work things out on a bad day. By this criteria, we’re a damn strong couple.

I love you, Zack!

Cheers!

Daters Gotta Date, Date, Date, Date Date!

If you date a Baker, expect to hear a lot about bread.

If you date me, expect to hear a lot about dating.

Chicken Soup for Zach Homemade, Gluten Free

Chicken Soup for Zach
Homemade, Gluten Free

Zach and I have been dating only a short time, but in that time, he has said such sweet things as:

  • I loved your book.
  • I’m surprised by how much you share in your blog, but your openness is one of the things that I love about you.
  • Your past made you who you are.  I love learning about you.
  • I love you.

This morning he texted, “I’m tired of hearing about your exes. Every. Single. Day. Find someone to toy with!”

My response was, “I’m sorry.” What else could I say? I wasn’t purposefully toying with him. His tone told me that he didn’t want to talk, that it wasn’t up for discussion. I walked away.

Whoa! We went from “I love you,” to “Quit toying with me” with no stops in between?!

First, let me admit that he has a valid point. In the past week, I’ve heard from my first ex-husband, Noah (of “Jealous Girlfriend”), and another guy that I dated briefly. I mentioned these to him in answer to, “How was your day?” I sincerely thought that each of these instances was noteworthy. I hadn’t heard from the first in over 3 years, the second in 9 months, and the third in about a year. Ok, so this was a fluke. I normally don’t have so much Ex excitement in one month.

In a standard week, I look through old stories to find material for my blog. While most blogs are current events, like this one, some are throwbacks. When we talk, I might mention potential blog topics and ask him what he thinks. I don’t do it to toy with him; I do it to make conversation. And because I value his opinion.

Second, Zach and I had just started dating; I didn’t want to blog about him every day. It would have been cute, but boring, like, “Zach is so awesome! He said, ‘Good Morning Beautiful,’ again today <3” and “He tells me ‘Good night XOXO I love you,’ every single night. Isn’t that sweet?!” While this made me happy, it wasn’t worth a whole blog. Our dates were mostly talking, so there wasn’t much to report there, either. Thus, my blogs have been throwbacks plus the exes mentioned previously.

I would have preferred a heads up. Like, he could have said, “Jules, I’ve reached my limit. I’ll read your blog if I want to hear about your exes, but for now, quit talking about them. Ok? The stories are fun, but really, I can’t handle any more.”

I would have said, “Ok, I understand. I am totally cool with you ignoring my blog, too, if that’s what you need to do.”

Since we didn’t have that conversation, last night I mentioned that I was going out with my girls. I mentioned that I get hit on when I go out. The response that I was expecting was:

  • Of course, a gorgeous woman like you must get hit on all the time!  How many men ask for your number when you’re wearing sweat pants at the grocery store, Hottie?  😉
  • Wish I was there to hit on you!
  • They can look, but they can’t touch!
  • So glad you’re mine, gorgeous 😉

Instead, he said, “Ok.” I shrugged and went on with my night. I had no idea that I had upset him. As it was, I stayed home.

Jack asked if there might be something else totally different going on with Zach.

“He is considering a job in a different city. That would make it really hard for us to date,” I said. “We hardly see each other, as it is.” I thought hard to figure out if it were something else. “He has been sick, maybe he’s just grouchy. I made him some soup; guess he won’t be eating it now. I’ll give him a day or two and see if he comes around.”

I don’t think that he will. After all, this wasn’t a nice, “Please talk about exes less,” conversation. This was a, “Get lost!” dictate. Although, I can hope that we can work this out; he really is a great guy.  He was the best boyfriend that I’d had in years, actually.

They were my past.  He was supposed to be my future.

Cheers!

Extra Chocolate Brownies

Extra Chocolate Brownies

PS. I don’t bake bread. I did bake some gluten free brownies, however. With extra chocolate for extra comfort.

I Want a Man Like My Girlfriend

Jules 31 Aug-1168

I want a man like Portia. She gets me. More importantly:

  1. She’s professional at work, and can let loose on the dance floor.  Shake it don’t break it!
  2. She can express an opposing viewpoints so nicely that her insight is appreciated and not bothersome.  “I see where you might think that Joe is attractive.  However, he looks a little too geeky for my taste.”
  3. She respects our differences without trying to change me.  “If you want to date Joe, great, I’ll get his number for you.”
  4. We share the same taste in music.  I love that she played Def Leopard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” at 9 a.m. on the way to the coffee shop.  With the volume turned up.  And danced with me.  WOOT!
  5. She’s a morning person, like me.  See #4.
  6. She understands the importance of learning and intelligence.  She has a degree in microbiology and uses it regularly.  I can use big words like, “misogynist” and “low probability of a repeat occurrence” when telling her about my latest date.  And she’ll understand!
  7. Like me, she works out, but doesn’t let exercise control her life.  She takes occasional days off and refuses to feel guilty about eating a chocolate bar.  Weight is an important consideration but not an obsession.
  8. Her budget is tight, yet she understands that mine is, too, and seeks fairness when it comes time to pay the bar tab.
  9. She can vent about the a**holes at work and then smile and say, “I feel better now.”  Some people aren’t able to let it go for hours/days/weeks.  Her ability to smile after a difficult discussion is very refreshing.  “There, now tell me about your day.”
  10. She respects the differences in our parenting styles.  In addition, I feel comfortable asking her child to respect my house rules.  (“Don’t run in the house” seems reasonable to me.)  I feel just as comfortable when she corrects my children.  (“Leave your brother alone.”)
  11. Like me, she enjoys a balance of eating in and eating out.  She understands that the added expense is justified by the time saved cleaning up and cooking.
  12. Though money is tight, she understands the importance of pampering herself with a manicure, pedicure, or hair color.  She isn’t controlled by a “too-tight” budget.
  13. She’s beautiful even in a pair of denim overalls.  I mean, who knew that ANYONE could look good in a pair of denim overalls!
  14. Her eyes are the bluest blue and her hair is dark brown.  I LOVE that color combination!
  15. She’s not gay.  Neither am I.  Nor do I want a man that is gay, despite how this list may sound!

I wrote this list in 2005. Portia has since gone crazy over a man and lost touch, but that’s on the “How a Man Should be Different from Portia” list. Regardless, the rest of my girlfriends would fit almost everything on this list.  Lilly Peach understands #11. I can see Gala Pear rockin’ some overalls. I know Allie Apple fits #5, 6, 7, 8, 9…

I love my friends! Now, if I can only find a man who reminds me of them!

Cheers!

Picture: Lilly Peach and I in Destin on Sept. 1, 2014.  Thanks to Sandy Oranges, our photographer.

You Know You’ve Dated Too Much When…

Julie and Allen 2000

Allen and I, 2000.

  1. You’ve dated at least 10 guys named, “Mike.”  Two had the same middle name.
  2. You freak out because your date has the same birthday as your ex.  November 4: TC, SRM, and Benny; and the next day, Brad.  Oct 17: Alan and one of the Mikes.
  3. After 1 date, you can predict why you might break up.  For example, there was one guy, that if he had said, “Dad said…” one more time, I would have screamed!  Ok, so I still dated him for 3 months.  He was hot.
  4. You feel like you’ve been on that date before, even though it’s the first date.  For example, the guy that complained, “Match doesn’t give me good matches.”  Hello!  I’m right in front of you!  You only need ONE good match!  And the other guy who made the same complaint.  And the other…
  5. There had better be alcohol on this date, or I’m not make it an hour!  Wait, I’ve got wine at home.  I’m outta here!
  6. He doesn’t show up, and you’re relieved!
  7. Your friends EXPECT a story the next day!
  8. You tell a story about last night’s date, and your friend says, “That sound familiar!”
  9. Your friend confuses your current boyfriend with the last one.  “He’s a software programmer, right?  No, that was the last one.  So this one has an eight-year-old daughter, right? Oh, that was the one before the last one.”

Online_profile

 

10. At a party, you introduce your boyfriend Nathaniel, the software programmer, to your ex-boyfriend, Nathaniel, the programmer.  Both are brunettes.  They get along great.  (Of course, Nathaniel thinks he’s smarter.)

11. You go thru your list of exes after a breakup.  Because sometimes the devil you know, is better than the jerk that you just broke up with.

12. Your online profile needs to be updated because it’s too old.  Actual profile seen: The text stated, “I’m turning 21 this weekend!”  But the website calculated his age as 24.

13. You’re used to being home by 9 so that you can watch your favorite TV show.  Even though the date seems to be going great, you’re annoyed that you’re not home in time.

14. You date so much that you get your guys confused.  You have to review his online profile/emails/texts before you go out with him, and hope that you don’t need the notes in your purse.

15. A specific hobby reminds you of an ex.  My ex-husband had salt water aquariums.  I freaked out a little the first time I visited a boyfriend’s house and saw a fish tank.  “It’s ok—lots of people have fish.  This doesn’t mean that he’s an asshole,” I told myself, and took deep breaths.  (For the record, he was an ass.  I remain optimistic that some fish owners are perfectly nice, datable people.)

16. Your girlfriends ask you to review their matches before they go out on a date.  You know, just in case you’ve already gone out with him.  Ex.  This is a quick summary of the conversation that I had with Nick on OK Cupid, “Do you date Asian guys?  Really?  Because most Texas girls are racist.  Wait, give me another chance!”  We tripped out when he showed up on LoLo’s list of matches!!

17. You actually consider asking a guy for his number while you’re on a date with someone else.  Sure, it’s tacky.  But a date with that guy might be more fun.  (Wait ‘til your date goes to the bathroom!)

18. You don’t know whether to dread your next date or look forward to it.

19. Your friends argue about whether “you’re high maintenance,” “you’re too picky,” or “you just seem to attract the wrong guys.”

20. Your well-intentioned friends set you up on dates (ex. Billy Ray).  What were they thinking?!  Love you guys!  But for real—you shouldn’t have!

21. Conversations with relatives go like this:

“Do you ever talk to your ex? The one that drove the BMW?” my brother asked me.

“Uh, no, I broke up with him over two years ago,” I answered.

“I’m glad. He was an asshole,” my brother replied.

Ok, then why did you ask? I wondered.

“What about the guy that took you to Costa Rica?” He asked.

“Broke up with him last September – over a year ago,” I answered.

“Good, he was weird. He wasn’t good enough for you,” he said, nodding.

Again—why did you ask?!

22. You know the pros, cons, and relative cost of every dating website and app available (ex. Online Dating).

23. You compulsively try every new dating website and app anyway.  (Tinder is so yesterday!)

24. Years are associated with who you were dating at the time.

“Let’s see, I was with Mike that year, so that was between 2006-2008,” I said.

“I thought that you dated Mike in 2010?” Lilly Peach said.

“That was a different Mike, 2010-2012. Between the two was…” I replied.

NASA_MCM_JNS_EAS_MLC_May_2010

Sally and I sandwiched between two Mikes.  NASA, Johnson Space Center, May 2010.

25. You have enough dating stories to fill a book.  Or two or three.  And a blog.  Plus status updates.

Thanks to Allie Apple for the help. Working on this over drinks was a blast!

Cheers!

PS Follow me on Facebook for more frequent posts and more pictures: https://www.facebook.com/julesstrawberry?ref=hl .

PSS And on Instagram: @jules_strawberry_rules

Crazy Redheads: Fact or Fiction?

I’m refuting the urban legend states that redheads are crazy. Watch and learn!

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Click Here to Watch YouTube Video

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Thank you to Sandy Oranges for filming this on September 22. Thanks to Jack for the wine.

Cheers!

Cheers

PS Follow me on Facebook for more frequent posts and more pictures: https://www.facebook.com/julesstrawberry?ref=hl .

PSS And on Instagram: @jules_strawberry_rules